Well, seems lying prostitute using STBXH can still make me laugh!

[Cabrinha]

Posted here last week, suspicious deleted text messages. Have long since suspected husband of using prostitutes, or being very likely to (the doubt was what kept me here, along with baby and complicated work situation) hence not having sex with him for 5 years.

He confessed to contact but (lied) saying he never met anyone on Monday, and I ended our marriage.

So, have long kept eye open for second email address, but not seen one. Today I found he'd set one up a month ago. I can't tell whether he had used it and deleted messages in the weeks before I chucked him.

However, 48 hours after I ended it, he was registered on adultfriendfinder and fuckbuddy. Much joy may he find there. I'm glad to see I haven't broken his heart.

Anyway, I ACTUALLY did a proper LOL at his profile which said he had a "lot of tricks up my sleeves".

Hmmm, one reason I managed 5 years without sex, was because he was by far, from a pool of about 20 the worst sex I ever had

I mean - really bad. Perhaps he's learned a lot from the prostitutes he never met up with.

It was a proper LOL moment. I pity him, I really do.

It seems you ended your marriage not a moment too soon - albeit 5 years too late.

Has he moved out? When will you be petitioning for divorce?

For you to know this, does that mean he's still there living under your roof? I hope not. Once a marriage is over, it is best for all concerned to live separately.

Make yourself a promise that you'll never put up with terrible sex in a relationship again.

Well, not 5 years too late because whilst it's a cliché it's true: I don't regret our child. I don't even feel these last years have been wasted, because it's been lovely for us to have us all together. But obviously that's not sustainable.

I know because he's an idiot that uses easily guessable passwords, and any further evidence means I have upper hand. Not that he's messing mr about so far, or that I'm expecting him too - but you know how these things go, assume nothing.

I am seeing a solicitor in 2 weeks time - it's only not sooner because I am simply too busy with work, out of the country.

We are in the same house. Which hasn't caused any friction at all. If it does, one of us will stay elsewhere. I can already here the cry of "one of you? HIM!" but actually I work overseas most of the week, and I want stability for my child whilst we sort out remortgaging and other financial and domestic arrangements. It would suit everyone, but if it can suit us, we'll be in same house for a few months. Tbh I've split with 2 previous live ins in my life (way pre kids!) and had a few months in same house after - once was hell on earth, one was fabulous! So I'm realistic and ready to change arrangements instantly if required!

You didn't have sex with him for 5 years? Yikes.

Well, I didn't.

You sound brilliant! Mind if I fall a little bit in love with you?

TBH I'm amazed your marriage has lasted so long - I wouldn't stay with someone who denied me sex for 5 years based on suspicion as opposed to facts.

Randomosity, I shall adapt a MN line - do you mean your comment to sound so critical of me?
There is much that I won't say, because it could be identifying, or because if someone I knew did see this, and guessed it was me, I would want to keep private.

But you'll find that 5 years comes about quicker than you think, when you write off 9 months of him not wanting sex in pregnancy, then chalk up another 10 months attributing it to a non sleeping baby.
Suspicions perhaps sounds worse if I label it "overwhelming circumstantial evidence but short of proof"?

There is much that goes on in a relationship - and this is not the only thing, though it has been pretty critical!
FWIW, it was him who first denied me sex.

So - if you're being critical and saying he should have left me for over-reacting to suspicion, then denying him sex, I'll say - jog on.
I'm not taking the blame for him cheating and putting my health at risk, whilst I activity tried to talk to him and work for my marriage.

OP, it seems we have a couple of "visitors" today intent on making women feel shit about themselves

You have nothing to explain yourself for. Just as well really, you withheld your physical affection. Things could have been very different for you if you had continued to sleep with a man giving you so many signposts that it wasn't a good idea.

It seems your instincts were spot-on

Ah, thanks AF - I hadn't realised there were visitors! Glad I went for the jog on reply :) This women isn't feeling shit for her husband's faults!

Good for you

Good for you

Your OP made me LOL too. Tricks up his sleeves.

Why did you bump this old thread?

Can't you read the date ?

AF, it's a troll bumping all old threads mentioning prostitutes - I can't even be bothered to correct his hairy handed factual errors, let alone argue on the theory.

I may as well add an update: 3 months on, I'm expecting the nisi any day, hoping purchase on my new house will be less than a month, oh - and rather unexpectedly met someone and have been making up for 5 lost years ;) All good!

and rather unexpectedly met someone and have been making up for 5 lost years

Good for you Cabrinha

Always nice to hear positive endings to bad situations.

Then I am glad that fuckwit bumped thread after seeing your update !