It's over. What now?

[sunshineandfreedom]

Things have been building up with me and 'D'P for a while, and this weekend during an argument he said something unforgiveable that was the final straw.

I've left, and am staying with my sister. We've talked, and we're meeting up on Saturday to dicuss managing our joint debts and assets. He's agreed to let me stay in our house as I have a friend looking to house share and he doesn't, and the cat is more mine than his so it seems silly to cause him upheaval.

My question is, how do I keep this calm? I am totally done, but from things that have happened in the past I know that he will probably cry and beg me to give him another chance. I'm not going to; I'm concrete in that and have given him a thousand chances over the past 6 years. But I don't want to snap at him or let it escalate into an argument.

Does anyone have any tips for making this as painless as possible...? I'm just not sure how to...

I don't have a lot of experience, but you seem very determined, and I am sure you will be fine (well, as fine as you can be under such difficult circumstances!).

I'd say, think in your head about the things (if any) that you want to say, but I'd keep those to a minimum. If you've decided to break things off, then there is no reason to dwell on the past and you want the conversation to be about how to move forward.

Hope it goes ok!

I'd try to just stick to financial and dates. Try not to get involved with tears and tantrums!! say I'm sorry for you but we have to move this forward now...

It doesn't matter why your not happy with things, it's enough that you're just not. So leave it at that and avoid being dragged into analysing reasons. Discuss moving forward and sorting things out and avoid personal matters. GL

For a start, don't meet up on Saturday. Wait until you're feeling more together and reschedule the meeting for a later date. Would recommend neutral ground, preferably where there are other people present.. i.e a public place. People who hurl unforgivable insults one minute and are crying and begging the next are trying to manipulate the situation. So take full control, run things on your terms, don't worry about being amicable or convenient, be thoroughly selfish, and go at your own speed.

Thanks guys. I hadn't thought about neutral ground, I may actually ask him to meet me for a coffee so that he can't do what he would do in the house...