NC - Background, as a child I was badly sexually abused consecutively for 3 years by a family member. This all came out when I was about 9, fully supported, it went to court, he was prosecuted, I attended counselling etc, etc and all in all I feel have grown up to live a very normal, happy life in which I came to terms with what happened and have moved on.
In a family conversation the other day it was revealed that the police, doctors and family suspected that I had also been very badly abused and/or raped as a young child when I was 3. Apparently I had serious internal scarring. At the time when it would have happened no-one had suspected family member but I spent a long period of time with them when my mum was very ill. There was not enough evidence to prosecute on this and as a child they didn't want to push me and felt the grounds for prosecuting the later on-going abuse was enough.
I had no idea about this suspicion of earlier activity or about the level of scarring. It did literally just come out in a normal conversation when I was discussing the events and how we had dealt with them in the past (which we don't do very often). I was shocked and really taken back by this and not sure how to process it, do I ignore it, do I just put it to one side? I have no memory of this at all, so this information just seems random and out of place for me, like I have read it in a book... Don't know what to think or feel.