Fancy a date

[boyfromipinema]

......Bald and pasty and old and ugly...the old boy from Ipinema goes waddling...and when he passes, each girl he passes goes 'Christ look at the state of that'........

Reading through some of the posts on this forum about dating disasters I've been inspired to put my head above the parapet and see if any single women reading this fancy a date? I'm in the London area, late forties and still have my own teeth.
Ladies please form an orderly queue.

Men don't wear thongs

yeah they do :)

Please do Sally. Tell your mum to forward me hers as well.

That was not a man, Akiss.

Oh, wait.
Was that you, boyfromipinema?

OK boy. I'm queuing for my pension at the moment but I'll look in on her on the way home if the nurses will let me in.

Actually, all joking aside. I am a single bloke looking for date and I'm relatively normal. I'm not on any dating websites at moment. Just thought I'd try my luck here as I had got some good advice a few months ago about something and had noticed that there seemed to be a few single women using it. I'm a dad of grown up kids, have a job, live in London, do really have my own hair and teeth, like to keep reasonably fit and love curling up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and a good DVD. ;-)

Boy do I already know you?

I dunno...maybe. I'm 6ft 2inch blonde with blue eyes, drive a Porsche, job in the city, town house in Chelsea and country home in the Cotswolds. Ring any bells?

Dad! Get off this site!

Blonde?! Oh drat, I'm still looking for tall, DARK and handsome! Good luck with your quest

Dammit boy when you were -

Bald
overweight
tatted-up
lazy
scruffy
broke

you had me drooooooolinggggggg

Ah well. Back to POF??.

Leave those online dating weirdos alone.
Come out with a weirdo who uses a mums website to try and pick up women instead.

Hmm...I'm considering it if I can get my H back to his old sneaky online dating habit

And if you can garden?

I've got a lovely garden. Some great garden features, all subtly positioned for maximum effect.
There's the discarded fridge by the back door, and the roll of carpet over by the fence, and I'm even considering getting a burnt out car installed for the summer.

Oh damn, and there is me hoping you really were the trampoline instructor at an all girls school....

Stop it NOW boy

I've got an old pram needs a place to rust away in. Shall I bring it round after I've unloaded the shopping from it?

My cousin's ready to drop so the pram would come in handy.
At least that way she can't say I haven't contributed to my kid's upbringing eh?

My biggest concern (aside from being happily married) is that you've spelt Ipanema wrong.

I hope another, unmarried mumsnetter with a relaxed attitude to spelling gets in touch

good luck!