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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Met a guy, I know he's a nob, please feel free to confirm my knowledge!

20 replies

MardyPants · 01/04/2013 15:54

Met a guy before Christmas, he thought I was checking him out in his car so asked for my number through the car window, which I gave him! (was actually checking out his car, not him, as was looking for a new car after crashing mine)
So we texted a bit, but he was very wary of telling me his job. He used to text every night around midnight for a bit of a chat and try and persuade me to go out, which didin't fuss me as am a night owl, but I don't go out at midnight / 1am for a first meet with a guy?! So we were meant to go out one night for dinner (at like 7pm!!) but he never got in touch. then he texted at 1am ish saying 'sorry had some trouble in (rough area of Manchester)'. So I'm thinking, he's either a drug dealer or a policeman?! Anyway, pissed off at being let down, I texted back 'whatever' at about 4am (yeah I know, childish!!!!!)
Anyway, have heard absolutely nothing off him....til today. When he texted me all 'hi, how are you stranger, I just drove by where I met you and it made me think of you' and wanting to go out on Thursday.
This is not normal right? Have been single but not really mingling for about 15 months, after 10yr relationship breakdown, so I don't have a clue what is 'normal' for single 30ish men!!!!!!!

OP posts:
LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 01/04/2013 15:56

Oh, it's totally normal for a chancer. Are you up for casual sex and mind fuckery? If so, carry on!! You know this, right?....

NinaHeart · 01/04/2013 15:58

You're absolutely right. He is a nob. Of the highest order. Suspicion confirmed.
(Step away from the nob, you know it makes sense)

happyAvocado · 01/04/2013 16:00

tell him you are going to call him one day at around 7 - he will not agree, as for ppl in relationship this is the time when they are with their partners ;)
that will confirm it for you :)

DuttyWine · 01/04/2013 16:02

Not necessarily a nob he just sees you as a fling to have casual sex with. If he had pretended he wanted a relationship and then did this he would be a nob. He is just out for fun, if you want more than late night booty calls best just call it quits now.

Scrazy · 01/04/2013 16:03

Does he have a dog? He might be taking the dog for a walk while his wife/partner goes to bed hence texting you at midnight.

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 01/04/2013 16:03

Oh, well played Avocado

Lueji · 01/04/2013 16:08

Just ignore.

ginslinger · 01/04/2013 16:10

He might very well be nob and a married nob at that but if you keep your shit detector turned to high then it might be worth it for the laugh.

Have you changed your bra for pants, Mardy? Or are you a different Mardy (in which case your name is confusing)

scottishmummy · 01/04/2013 17:15

He's a chancer,and you're the daft bird who let's him try it on,you responded
A bit of you likes this,hence the mn omg post,and I don't think you're so clueless
So actually you're both at it.him being geezerboy, you liking the attention

VelvetSpoon · 01/04/2013 17:22

Nothing wrong with liking attention. Most people do!

He's probably married/ in a relationship though, I think Scrazy has hit the nail on the head re dog walking.

If you want to be certain, call him earlier in the evening. Or if you know his full name, look him up on FB, most men stupid enough to play around are also stupid enough to have v low privacy settings on their profiles. You will probably see enough to confirm whether or not he's single.

SundaysGirl · 01/04/2013 17:29

Yea, nob. Married / got a psrtner most probably, or just after a shag at 1am when he's pissed and been out with his mates.

Avoid avoid!!!

botoxschmotox · 01/04/2013 17:29

Normal behaviour doesn't really change from year to year - people either behave in a way we find acceptable or not - if your antenna is up you would be best to move on.

tribpot · 01/04/2013 17:30

Married.

MardyPants · 01/04/2013 17:31

I think it is blindingly obvious what he's up to - now I've had it spelt out to me Smile

Yep the attention is a relief after going through that panic phase where you think you're going to die old and alone having never met another bloke nice, but not what I expected, hence the post. Have blocked his number.

No my mardy pants have always been pants, sorry for any confusion!!!!

OP posts:
Cherriesarelovely · 01/04/2013 17:41

Move on OP. He sounds like a complete knob. As botox says, listen to your instinct.

scottishmummy · 01/04/2013 17:42

There are lots of single,nice,guys who aren't players...go meet them
Let the geezer boy do his thing,there's aye wan who'll bite
Be safe,get a seperate mobile number and email for dating.and dont move in with man quickly

Scrazy · 01/04/2013 17:46

Mardy, don't blame yourself for liking a bit of attention, it was just from a Knob, this time.

OhLori · 01/04/2013 17:47

I just drove by where I met you and it made me think of you. Yep, this means I was suddenly at a loose end and fancied some sex/ego stroking and thought why not try her, nothing to lose...

Unfortunately, there are alot of these pricks around. A direct consequence of "hook up" culture thats grown in spades.

Yep, this is what to expect on the "dating scene" now Angry. At least you now know so hopefully be easier to spot the better quality guys.

Midwife99 · 01/04/2013 17:47

I met a guy like that once! He used to text me late at night asking what I was doing "now". I never gave in & met him but like an idiot arranged a date which involved me driving 25 miles to meet him at a pub near his house. I waited outside the pub we had arranged to meet at & eventually after a few minutes spotted him 100 yards up the road waiting by a shop, having no doubt watched me arrive & just standing there. I got in my car & drove home. I ignored all further texts & got some self respect! Grin

MardyPants · 01/04/2013 17:58

Midwife Grin

Great advice all!!! (as ever)

x

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