We did. We had a lot of happy years before we got married. We got married and things went downhill from there, 10 years of misery( during which we had a child). We grew apart, never socialised together, rows, lack of respect etc. we reached a point where we both realised we had two choices: make a go of it again or go our separate ways. What helped was that as parents we never ever disagreed, not even behing closed doors, weboth have exactly the same approach to parenting our child. The respect was there, the communication... But only when it came to our child, everything else was hell.
So we had counselling. For a year. I have a temper and I am sociable, he's stubborn and selfish. I am a 'do-er', he's a 'something will come up'. We come from different cultures. We are the opposites of each other.
Nothing spectacular happened for me when we were in counselling. It was heart breaking even. I aged years during that time.
Few months later something must have clicked in his head. He made me a coffee unasked and said: you look shattered, thought this might help. He got me tickets to see a band I like. He must have made a list with all the things I ever complained about and went on a mission to accomplish them all, without grudge, but more importantly, he is enjoying them too. I would know if he was playing mind games, he's fenomenally shite at it so he's left me bewildered ( I was quite worried he's hit his head or something for a while), speachless and really happy. Little things. So now I see the man I fell in love with again.
The trust is back. And with that we went back to being US. Yes, we're most and foremost parents, we drop everything for our kid. But we spend time together without mentioning bills, headlice, timetables, shopping list. We're more curteous to each other, more respectful. I no longer indulge in husband bashing sessions with the girls although they have been a life saver for years and kept me sane. I never stopped looking after myself, but now I would think of an outfit to make his eyes pop out and giggle at the thought of it.
So yes, I suppose we fell in love again. I am not smug about it, it was heartbreaking till we got to this point. In our case it got to rock bottom and we realised we fell into a pattern that was making us deeply unhappy. Couldn't get any worse, so we went for making it better.
If you think about it, at work I am not someone's mum. With friends I am not someone's mum. With family I am not someone's mum. So why would I by solely the mother of his child? Why would I be the army general in the house? Why would I only be the cook/ cleaner/ breadwinner? Nah, see me as your girlfriend.
Works for us :).