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Original poster

Should I pick him up?

16 replies

GrinReaper · 09/05/2006 13:40

I am in a long distance relationship with my partner, he lives over 100 miles away.
Anyway on Friday he is coming down here by train (he does this every fortnight) as his car is off the road.

Ive told him every time now NOT to arrive here over the schools home time or I will not be able to pick him up, the past few times he has 'forgot' and has had to get a taxi down to my house from the station.

On friday he is arriving here at 2pm which IMO is, again too close to school home time!! I have to be at school for 2:30 and there are tons of road works going on around the station so if I go to pick him up it is likely that I will be late getting to school.

He thinks I'm being unfair and should go and pick him up, I think it would be easier for him to get a taxi, what do you think?

OP posts:

beckybrastraps · 09/05/2006 13:41

Pick him up after you've been to the school. Tell him to bring a book.

compo · 09/05/2006 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hoopoe · 09/05/2006 13:53

I'd pick him up after the kids - it'll give him plenty of time to mull over how you've asked him to avoid that time in the past... Or let him pay for a taxi. You've explained that time is inconvenient and he's chosing to ignore you - he must face the consequences like a grown man!

Rhubarb · 09/05/2006 13:58

Personally I'd tell the school that I might be a bit late for the kids. I think they'd love it if their dad picked them up from school!

He probably thought 2pm early enough and he doesn't know about the roadworks. Why create an argument for the short time he's home? Not worth it I don't think.

Hoopoe · 09/05/2006 14:11

If he's their dad I'd agree with you Rhubarb - got the impression that he wasn't... It would irk me that he's not really taking the kids into consideration when planning, but as you point out he might not know about the road works.

Can't he change his train to an earlier / later one?

Original poster

GrinReaper · 09/05/2006 15:42

He's not their dad and he doesnt live here, we've only been together a year. He comes to visit us every fortnight but always gets the aswkward train.

OP posts:

starlover · 09/05/2006 15:44

no i wou;ldn't pick him up!

you've told him not to come at that time and he still does. that's his own silly fault.

do you think he does it on purpose to see if you'll "choose" him or the kids?

Carmenere · 09/05/2006 15:45

Why is a taxi a problem for him?

NotActuallyAMum · 09/05/2006 16:13

I'd tell him he has two choices:

Either he gets a taxi

He waits at the station until you've picked the kids up and got through the traffic

I'd also want to know why he's being so bloody awkward when you've specifically told him you can't pick him up around school-run time

LeahE · 09/05/2006 16:17

Agree with NAAM...

Original poster

GrinReaper · 11/05/2006 20:01

I think he doesnt want to get a taxi to save money and also convenience (for him!).

Thing is even if I pick him up after school the roads are going to be jam packed, especially around the road works (a main road is completely closed off in the city centre so its diversations everywhere!) and its just going to be so stressful! I'm not a confident driver and have been avoiding these road works at all costs, I got the bus today for instance...I wouldnt know what to do when I got there as like I said there are diversations everywhere and plus Ill have the kids nagging in the back...

Is it really out of order for me to expect him to get a taxi? I know he's already travelled a long way to see me but it would be so much easier...

OP posts:

Hoopoe · 11/05/2006 20:32

No, not out of order at all. If it were me I'd be happy to get a taxi. If you got the bus, couldn't he, if he's worried about money?

Thomcat · 11/05/2006 20:40

I'd tell him to hang out till after school run and i'll come and get him or he can make his own way.

SSSandy · 12/05/2006 09:10

Since it isn't a one-off but as you say he always takes the awkward train, I would tell him I won't be able to pick him up.

I wouldn't make a big thing of it, just wouldn't do it but I'd be very welcoming once he arrives. Thing is you don't want this hassle every fortnight, so you do need to be clear about it. Either he takes a different train and you pick him up, or he takes this train and you'll be at your house welcoming him when he gets there.

Amiable · 12/05/2006 09:54

I wouls repeat (firmly and calmly, in an ideal world!) that he has to get a taxi.

however, I would also add, rather than telling him not to get a train around school leaving time, to be more specific. ie, "please do not get a train that arrives between 1.45pm and 3.30pm, as that is when I am out collecting the kids" - then stick to it!! It sounds as if he is pretty clueless about kids and their requirements. so he needs educating. Stick to your guns, collecting your kids form school should be your priority - as a few people say he is a grown man so should be able to take care of himself. (and if he can't, do you really want another child?!!)

bran · 12/05/2006 09:58

Can he get a bus out of the centre to somewhere that you can pick him up easily after the school run? It won't cost as much and it would be less waiting around.

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