unhappy in my rl

[gruffaloshild]

Im with a guy who I've been with for 6 months, he has a daughter who he want to keep our rl from for one year (I totally understand this and respect him for protecting her from his love life)
He tells me he loves me and is affectionate.
But.. when he has his daughter over the weekend I dont hear anything from him,
I feel left out and wish he'd just invite me round for a cup of tea, all our mutual friends hang out with him and his daughter but because he want to keep us out of her face I have to just entertain myself and not be involved.
So though I totally understand what he's trying to do it doesnt mean it doesnt hurt feeling put in a compartmentalised box.

He said last night when I broached the subject that people always thing when they're in love that it will last forever but that's not always the case.
I said feel like I'm on trial waiting for his acceptance though he's told me he cant wait fro the day when we can come out to her and even when we can live together.

He said hes been single for so long that he is a bit out of sight out of mind with everyone and just gives his attention to whoever he is with-that kind of hurt.

Then he said that he thinks women and men are different that women want to hang out more than men do...?!

I said I dont want to hang out with you unless that's what you also want and he said he wants to be with me and just thinks men and women are different on that score.

I said please dont make a fool out of me from now on Im not going to come round here unless Im invited and he begged me to keep reaching out to him because that's the real me.

I feel so small, so confused by what he said.

he had a nightmare that we broke up and woke up hugging me really tight and saying he loves me and doesnt want to loose me and hes so worried of fuking it up.

I just feel in some ways he's using his daughter as an excuse not to be fully intimate.

we also use the withdrawal method of contraception and Im worried that if I get pregnant it will be awful.

Im at uni and failing by the minute.

Though Im with the man I love and who loves me Im very down when Im not with and just feel like every where I look I see pain, Im nhappy in my job, failing at uni, unhappy in my rl and just unhappy in all areas of my life really.

thanks I will

step 1: Go get some contraception sorted. WIthdrawl method is absolutely not effective. or satisfying.

STep 2: Get your priorities right - you are at uni and you should be working hard to secure an independent future for yourself, not wasting your time hoping to play happy families with someone who is just not that into you. because if he was, the minute his DD was in bed, he'd be on the phone to you.
STep 3: Start living! Dont spend all your time hoping he will call or wanting to hang out with him - these are the best years of your life, at uni, with so many opportunities to have fun. Dont be in such a rush to settle down. Dont be in such a rush to settle for someone who sounds like a fuckwit.

Six months in and you're already getting the people always thing when they're in love that it will last forever but that's not always the case speech? Women want to hang out more than men do? To me, I think you're just a casual stop-gap rather than anything more serious. He's stringing you along with a load of rubbish about introducing you to his DD or living together. I'm not believing a word of it. New boyfriends should make you feel good about yourself.... not down all the time. No-one's worth that.

Also.... do think about talking to your GP. (Not only about contraception because you're being a bloody fool at the moment to have unprotected sex with this loser) If this goes beyond your relationship and the whole of your life is so unhappy and 'everywhere you look you see pain' then you may well be experiencing a more profound depression.

Are you pissing around with contraception to take the risk of an "unplanned" pregnancy in the hope it will force this bloke to commit to you?

Think again

"he begged me to keep reaching out to him because that's the real me"

No it isn't. It's a sign that he wants to keep you uncertain and needy.

I think you can do better than this Mr Unavailable.

Get rid.

He's not that into you.

He's a childish twat.

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't appear to want to be with you?