The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wondering Where The Spring For Their Boing Is!

[Mouseface]

Hi I'm Mouse

One of the Brave Babes on the Bus, a Bus full of different posters, some who drink more than they'd like to and are trying to stop, some who don't drink at all now, and some who are somewhere in the middle. :)

There's no judging here, no finger pointing, no rejection, just pure, unconditional, (occasionally tough), love and empathy.

We all share stories of how we got here, to have our seat on the Bus, looking for our own personal sobriety, our own personal happiness. Sometimes we talk about other things too, you know, like cake, cheese and even day to day life, life that can lead us to breaking point......... lead us to hit rock bottom.

So, why not come say hi, take a seat, post, lurk, whatever suits you :)

This is our latest journey with a link to others

And this is the reason we're ALL here, the first ever thread

Hope to see you soon :)

[babyjane1]

Morning babes, welcomekate and cocktail, this group of warm couragious women will help you change your life, stay close and keep posting, we can all help each other. purple I admire and respect you a great deal, you sound so gentle and kind in your posts after all the hardship you could be lying in an alleyway with a needle sticking out of you but your not, your still fighting, still helping others and I hope a nice, kind man comes and sweeps you off your feet!! Well I completed my
First day 1 in a very long time and it was fine, it's nice to remember how a programme ends and not to need painkillers before you even think
About getting up, feeling hopeful!!! X x x ps before I previewed this message I had said contagious in stead of courageous, it made me laugh out loud x

[curryeater]

Good to see you babyjane.
Purple, I would love an opal fruit - lob a pink one over please. Your posts are blowing me away at the moment.

Cocktail, there is a whole bit in one of the self-help-booze books I read about keeping things off medical records. Will have a glance through at lunchtime and see what I can summarise for you. Basically if you can afford to go private, you can keep it off your records, and if you can't, there are other things you can do. I will find out.

Kate - well done on day 2!

Mouse - hope you have a better day.

Big kisses to everyone xxx

[CocktailQueen]

Thanks so much everyone for the lovely welcome. Will read some more posts on this thread so I can contribute.

I'd like the GP to do a liver function test - can that be kept off my record? Or can I get that done privately?

[Mouseface]

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Welcome Cocktail - yes, you can get them done privately BUT as Purple and others have said, to show that you are actively looking for help and support is far better than doing things in the background as such.

I totally (hand on heart) understand the 'not wanting people to know - ever' fear that comes with seeking help for alcoholism but you know it's real because you're here sweetheart :) and that step alone is a huge one to take. The difference between us knowing and those in your RL soon becomes one and the same thing, it might not happen soon, it might not happen for years or it might happen tomorrow.

Your GP has to respect your wishes, but just by talking to them, just by going and asking a few questions, you might see things clearer and so make a more informed decision on what you want to do about your drinking and how.

You're here, and yes we're not a REAL LIFE group of face to face people, but we are all in the same boat of uncertainty aren't we? We all carry the shame of days gone by, lies, hiding things, doubt, fear, failures...... alcohol is a great crutch, it supports you through the toughest times in life, it helps you forget the most horrific things that you've done, have happened to you, or others.

Except it's not is it? Otherwise we wouldn't be here. We'd be getting on with life, just like the rest of the people in the world, just like our friends, just like our family who don't use drink to stabilise.

Don't use drink to balance our day, don't use drink to hide the deepest, darkest torment and twisted terror that lies at the bottom of the bottle. Once the bottle is empty, once there is no more, what then?

Stay with us, sit, read and post to us. We're all very different people and have very different lives, but the one common denominator here is alcohol abuse.

Ma - hope life with you is calm today.

Purple - your realisations are amazing, you are really starting to understand how you got here, it's so emotional for me to read, I see a lot of myself in you, and I feel the same pain as you did/do. I hope that you continue to release this run of de-cluttering you've got going on :)

Off for a shower. Be back soon xxx

[babyjane1]

mouse lovely post, your awesome hope your feeling better today! X x x

[ruralreynard]

just checking in.
Big wave to old friends and new babes.

Been drinking lots and lots too much!!
lots of bad and sad things to deal with in RL but starting to get my head around things.
Ma great news about DD
Day 1 today

[aliasjoey]

I came on to say to cocktail that the GP can refer you to counselling services, check if there are any other medical conditions etc. Alcoholism is an addiction, it's like any other disease, sometimes you need help. It sounds like you are struggling to admit it, but it can't always be cured just with willpower and an app on your iphone.

It's understandable that you don't want to burden your DH at the moment. But it can feel like a huge struggle to face on your own.

Anyway, then I read mouses post, and she's said everything much better than I could! As always, I am blown away by how you answer every new Babe that boards the Bus, you take the time to read and respond personally to each individual person, and your posts are always SO supportive and kind.

Here, you can have the rest of my Opal Fruits (if there are any left ) Three cheers for mousie !

[babyjane1]

Hip hip hooray x x x

[aliasjoey]

babyjane how are you doing? how are your bowels holding up?

[FuzzyInTheMorning]

Can I join? I feel crap as I know I'm an alcoholic but no one else does so they enable me. I am getting worse and am worried that I will spiral further...

[FuzzyInTheMorning]

Oh and I have all over itching and sweats the day after which worries me beyond words :(

[obrigada]

Hi babes, checking in, still not drinking:)

[kateissotired]

I am back on annual leave after a mornings work, I feel nervous about going home, really anxious actually, as I am still being blanked. Last night was vile. It is on my objectives to move out as this is really making me panic. Counsellor tonight though so that is a start.

[kateissotired]

Hello fuzzy, I get the booze sweats the next day too, not the itching though, just a general feeling of imminent panic. Hope ou are ok

[FuzzyInTheMorning]

Got the panic now :( the itching worries me, could be a sign of liver disease but even typing that makes me feel like bursting into tears...

[FuzzyInTheMorning]

How are you feeling now Katie?

[babyjane1]

joey thanks for asking after me, my bowels are fine at the moment, it's
My depression that has crippled me of late, the worse I felt, the more I drank and the next day shakes and sweats made me more depressed and my ability to cope with the housework, kids and day to day life diminished. Anyway a few days at my parents and some heart to hearts with my nearest and dearest has put things back on track, the drinking bit is down to me and me alone!! fuzzy and kate we have all experienced what you are going through, I have been gradually cutting down but 2 weeks ago I was sinking 2 bottles of wine every night and only
More wine the next night could stop the sweating, shaking, nausea and sheer anxiety. Every little domestic issue became enormous, I felt I lost complete control of everything but it was just the depressive effects of booze. The advice I have got on here on the past was amazing, drinks lots of water and sugary drinks, get out for a walk, have a relaxing bath and get some vitamin b and eat nice healthy clean foods, I promise both of you, these basics steps and the support of the angels here and I promise everything will look better in just a day or 2, stay strong and a big hug
To both of you!! obrigada well done you, how long is that? Xxx

[FuzzyInTheMorning]

Thanks Babyjane1 - feel really embarrassed (think lots of random FB messages) and depressed and I want to be a better mum who's not always hungover and a see if my marriage can be saved, just need to find the courage to tell my husband as he will always offer me wine. Wine takes the edge of my anxiety ironically..

[kateissotired]

Fuzzy it might be the opposite way with anxiety and wine, it took me ages (years) to understand this. The wine led to massive anxiety, so to take the edge off, I would have wine. I got an email from a friend earlier who had heard what had gone on and offered support in getting better. Which initially freaked me out but now I feel more determined.

[FuzzyInTheMorning]

I agree Kate, it has dawned on me the wine causes all my problems. Well most. Now all I have to do it never touch it again. How daunting :(

[FuzzyInTheMorning]

I am determined too. Today.

[curryeater]

Some quick notes about "off the record" treatment:

::::::

Your GP can help and can often be the best place to start.
If you do not declare a drink problem it can invalidate certain kinds of insurance.
technically you should declare a drink problem to the DVLA; but if you do they may take away your licence

If you go to a private clinic for help, they may ask your GP for your records but will not nec. supply any information to your GP - the GP can only record what you tell them so this is one way of getting treatment without it going on your record

State-funded help is harder to keep off your records. But there are various agencies who do residential and non-residential treatment; but they will usually involve your GP
::::::

Cocktail, do you mind me asking why you particularly do not want this on your record - work or something? Because remember that your GP cannot reveal anything about you socially, or anything like that.

Ma, forgot to say - thrilled by the news about your daughter - that really made me happy.

Fuzzy - well done on the determination. hang in there. Don't google your symptoms!

babyjane - sounds like you have been having a horrible time

obrigada, well done

[babyjane1]

fuzzy I know exactly what you mean, my dh is very laid back and never really noticed (probably did but was too scare to address it) I have a very stressful life, have 2dd's, 13 and 2 and I'm 41 with Crohn's disease, I also suffered horrendous post natal depression. So for all these reasons he has been cutting me slack and enabling my drinking but now he has seen its more than just a "phase". Please don't think in terms of never drinking again, it's too big to contemplate, just think I won't drink today, then
Tomorrow and if you have some one night, just start again
The next day, baby steps. Alcohol starts off helping the anxiety and when it's got a grip of you it turns on you and makes things seem much worse. I'm only on day 2 but I can pick up the panic in your post and
I promise a few days of sobriety and being kind to yourself and you'll see things will get better. kate if your Friends are friends worth having they will forgive and support you, it's early days x

[aliasjoey]

babyjane so you have only been on the Bus a few months and already you're picking up tactics like ODAAT (One Day At a Time) and sharing them with new passengers! That's fantastic!

[SnowdropBlues]

Sorry to barge in like this (current status on drinking: not for a few months!) but I was reading this and was really upset: can you really not talk to your GP about it? In discussion with mine at start of year I said I drank 25 units one week, huge increase at a time of stress then stopped. I was horrified to find out that was recorded! What does that effect? I'm really annoyed with her especially as that was not what the appointment was about