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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Texting escorts

15 replies

linkainka · 23/03/2013 15:45

Hi
I discovered this morning that my partner of 2 years has been texting escorts. He stayed up late last night ( working). When I want downstairs to check what he was doing he was drunk watching telly.
I got up in the morning and checked his phone. He texted about 10 numbers asking for things, expressing intention to meet up today. I woke him up and told him to leaves high he did.
Thing is, we have not been getting on for a while. He avoids sex with me.
He drinks too much and works too much.
We rarely spend time together.
Is it time to call it a day? For good? Is he wasting my time and making me unhappy?
Linkainka

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 23/03/2013 15:50

Definitely time to call it a day. A miserable drunk who shows no affection?.... No loss. He has no respect for you, no respect for women in general, and therefore isn't worth wasting another second of your time upon. You've had a lucky escape

EggyFucker · 23/03/2013 15:52

Dump the inadequate fuck. It's the only sane way to go.

linkainka · 23/03/2013 15:57

Thank you ladies. I think you're right. I've two beautiful children from my marriage which sadly ended 5 years ago.
I'll focus on them, family, good friends.
Too many sleepless nights worrying if he's going to go back to his ways again.
Oh and did I mention that he also likes to take drugs when out, which he knows I strongly oppose to. So whenever he went out with his 'friends' I would be worried he'd be on it as well. :((((((((

OP posts:
EggyFucker · 23/03/2013 15:59

Bye-bye druggy waster

Hello new life

linkainka · 23/03/2013 16:11

Thank you. Do you really think there's no future in this? Xx

OP posts:
EggyFucker · 23/03/2013 16:15

Yes, I really think that

What do you think ?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 23/03/2013 16:20

hello OP, your boyfriend is disrespectful and untrustworthy, you are worth more than that. The sooner he is gone, the better and brighter your present and future.

linkainka · 23/03/2013 16:23

Well as much as I don't want to, I agree with you.
There have been issues for a while. He never thinks of me. It's about the little things. I don't expect diamonds or expensive designer stuff. But things like a magazine, flowers, my fave choc bar...
No. He buys me a bottle of wine. I'm not a drinker. So he drinks it ....
He never organises things. Weekends away. Day trips. I've organised it all. He pays half.
He pays half for shopping. Eats loads. More than me and kids together.
Never does DIY.
Does help with cleaning and cooking sometimes.
But I'm guessing because of drinking and work isn't really interested in sex with me.
Now I'm even worried if he really met up with these escorts. Something's telling me that probably not. Too tight with money. Escorts cost a lot.
But I'll prob go to get tested at the doctors just in case. Xx

OP posts:
EggyFucker · 23/03/2013 16:25

He may not be interested in sex with you, because he is getting it elsewhere

Or paying for cam stuff

Just because he is tight with money with you doesn't mean he he hasn't given himself permission for regular "treats" of his own

maidmarian2012 · 23/03/2013 21:12

My God you deserve better than this.

He has zero respect for you or any other woman.

Like AF said, he may not be tight-fisted when it comes to his little (suspected) meet-ups Sad Angry

I had a similar partner, a long time ago, saying he was off for a curry with his mates in City Centre then going to a Sauna-type place, oh, and taking speed. What a fucking liability he was.

linkainka · 23/03/2013 23:36

Dear maidmarian. Thank you for your reply. It takes courage and strength to end something like this. Xx

OP posts:
BOEUF · 23/03/2013 23:37

Good luck to you. It will be the best thing you've ever done.

maidmarian2012 · 24/03/2013 13:39

linkainka you're more than welcome xx

Theres just something so seedy about it all too isn't there? I also thought maybe in some way I was unnatractive, and thats why he did the prostitute/sauna thing. ITS THEM WHO ARE THE INADEQUATE ONES!!

I ended it with him because it seemed everyone knew about these little trips but me, I felt stupid and it made my skin crawl.

Like I said you deserve better, and you will get someone better. Men like this are a waste of space.

The relief you will feel in the end will feel great Flowers

Sallyingforth · 24/03/2013 14:33

Sadly OP it sounds like you will be happier without him.
And yes you do need to have the tests.

Walkacrossthesand · 24/03/2013 14:37

Will it be complicated to separate your lives - eg do you rent together? If yes, there's plenty of advice on here about 'making a plan'. If no, sounds like it's black bin bag time, gather up his stuff and send him on his merry way.

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