should i let ex see my ds?

[CastroIsDead]

long story short i broke up with my ex 6months ago its been hard but im moving on. happy and realise its for the best after 3.5years of messing about on off relationship i know he can't give me what i want and commit. we are still friends were friends for 15 years before getting together since school. he wants to have contact with my ds who is 4. thing is i don't know if i should let it continue because i can't see it being a long term thing. he has a new woman in his life and is not being honest with her about the situation i can just see the shit hitting the fan before long and that will be it. am i worrying too much or should i let them be friends and hope for the best. i don't want ds getting hurt/ let down. just don't know what to do for the best

If he is your son's dad, then of course they should keep contact.

sorry didn't make that clear not my sons dad but has been there since ds was 6months on and off ds sees his dad regularly they have a good relationship. his dad thinks i should encourage ex to keep contact

let him see him, he's been a big part of his life

You've got to weigh it up - the benefits of your DS maintaining contact with someone who has been a huge part of his life, who you clearly don't think is a tosser and who wants contact, versus the possible risk of Ex moving on/getting bored and your DS being "dumped" later on.

Maybe you should spell it out to him. "Yes, I'd like you to have some sort of a relationship with DS but there's a responsibility attached to that - are you sure you're not going to balls it up?" - that sort of thing.

Best way to look at it is from your son's point of view. Did they have a close relationship and does your son miss him. Why not ask your DS if he would like to see him? If he's not bothered, there's your answer. It's not about your ex's wants.

yes they have a good relationship ds talks about him but not so much now we only see him about every 3 weeks. my worry is if he moves on or gets bored further down the line when ds is older and understands more it will be more difficult for him. also the fact that he is not being honest with his new woman has told her he is taking his friends ds on a trip not that i will be there or that im his ex. does that make a difference just seems like storing up problems for later to me. part of the reason he wouldn't commit was he didn't want the responsibility or to be tied down with a kid