Hey everyone!
Ok, where do I start here!
Have been together for nearly 12 years, married for 3 and have a 10 yo daughter.
Last week, the wife decided that she no longer loves me like she used to. She loves me more as a best friend. The spark seems to have gone. Time has moved on, but we haven't kinda thing.
She is very outgoing, whereas, I would rather stay in. Mainly due to not having the money to go out!
We have now decided to separate for a while to see if we can build it back up. They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder! (Does it!?)
Anyway, we both live together and now have separate rooms. She is downstairs, I am upstairs.
When we had the discusssion initially, I was very distraught! I think I have been so comfortable over all those years, this is why i took the news very badly. I don't class myself as a bad person. I do my bits around the house, cook, clean, parenty stuff with daughter and show care and attention to the wife.
I am now coming to terms with what we are doing, however, the wife is constantly on her phone texting her friend. He is a very good friend of hers and they have been out to gigs together and out for celebrations amongst other friends (they are a close knit groups of friends). I do know they have slept together once (Just after we discussed the separation) and I have accepted what has happened because of the reasons and her previous life experiences. We did talk about this and she said she didn't want to ruin their relationship by doing it again. I accept that.
The thing I am finding the hardest to do is to accept we are going through this separation as it is always on my mind that I wonder what she is texting her friend. I have seen some of the texts (before she deletes them) and some of them have a kind of sexual inuendo. For example, we agreed that as part of moving on, no relationships are to be brought into the house. She is currently getting a new bed, and one of the texts say that he hopes the bed is comfy, shes replies, I hope so too, then he replies back saying isn't there a house rule, she then replies saying, there could be a way round that. (you still with me??)
They do text about other random stuff too.
I'm finding it hard to move on myself as we are still husband and wife, I still love her very much! We both agreed that we can have sex togther as fun times, rather than it meaniogn anything relationship wise. I absolutely adore sex, so could have it every day if I could! She...not so much!
The thing I need to do is get myself out there, find new people and have fun/a good time! It's been many years since since being 'single' so to speak.
Anyone out there in a similar situation that can give me some words of advice to help stop feelng like this!?
Any suggestions as to how to get back out there and meet new people? Once I achieve this, the feeling I have should fade away!
Sorry for the long post, and I do hope it makes sense to someone!