confused

[senorita02]

Please bear with me. I am really confuse as to what to do in such situation. i live in Wales, DC's are fluent and goes to Welsh school too same as DH's families. DH has begin divorce proceedings i need to move out of Wales and live in England where i will be close to friends. Solicitors were giving me their perception on how the court will view the situation if i decide to move to England. Bristol is not my choice! I am stuck,similar situation of being in houe arrest. WE still have not sorted finances and child custod yet. Whatever the maintenance will be i am not interested to live in Wales anymore!

Solicitors also mentioned that if DH has his families to help out to care for the children as DH has a demanding job and work on some weekends and weekdays till late nights than he too can have shared custody rather than me having custody and DH to have contacts and visitation rights.

I am happy for the DC to have as much contact as possible with their father but his job is too demanding and he stays at his work accomodations from mon-fri and comes home on weekends when he is not working some weekends and being on stand by call.Therefore, i have always had them and since i am a stay home mum it was all discussed when we had our 1st child that i would stay home to care for them.

If the in laws get involve in helping out DH in caring for children than the chances for me to leave Wales or starting somewhere fresh would be non existence.
Besides MIL always went to care for her other grandchildren age 0 and 4 most weeks and MIL also works part time. If DH asks her to care for our children too on some days a week it would be a disaster to MIL to split between her own commitment with work and the other set of grandchildren that she always had cared for.

I have no family in England or wales just close friends, very close friends in London but i was not going to live in London either but somewhere my friends could travel to see me and be there if i needed them in emergencies as i will not have my H anymore to hold my back.

To be very honest, i want my H to come back to us, spend time in our new house and new place away from his family and country and be there for each other like we always used to be before we moved to WAles to accomodate his job.
Please shed some light, Not planning to move from our family house till the house is sold and finances are sorted!

So confuse and distressed!

Where is the new house then? What's Bristol got do with it?

You've posted about this before I remember

Most courts, unless there is any suggestion of ill-treatment, are going to award 50/50 care to both parents. It's then up to you and your exH to make that work and the test is that it has to be in the children's best interest. You have to make a life for yourself, earn a living and have a support network etc but, if you move a long way away, are the children going to be able to have a meaningful relationship with their father?

Has to be a negotiation, sorry. It's not just about you.

I just want some hope too. Why does he have to have it his way? Why cany I live where I want (anywhere far from STBXH? I don't get why I have to negotiate MY children! I brought them into the world. Can he stop me movinf far away inside uk? He tells me court can stop me taking kids abroad which is ridiciwlous. Is this true?!

Yes. Your children have the right to a realtionship with both their parents.

How far can I move in the uk? Is there a limit distance wise?

You've posted this before and got lots of advice

What's changed?

Thought I could fix it. Couldn't. Now I want advice about how far I can move away

Why do you want to move as far as possible?

The children are his too and they are entitled to have a relationship with their father and with their father's family. You are not entitled to deprive them of that.

You talk as if they are possessions, rather than people in their own right.

Yes he can stop you

He can obtain a prohibited steps order

"He tells me court can stop me taking kids abroad which is ridiciwlous. Is this true?! "

If you mean abroad for a holiday, not normally. But there are too many heart-breaking stories of parents that have taken children from the UK to another country (often their home country) & refused to let them come back. Courts will act if they think that abduction is a risk. It isn't ridiculous at all.

Talk to your ex about how you can both get what you want. Many former couples can find a way to live at a distance and still both have a meaningful relationship with their children. If you can cooperate with each other you may find you can do this. If you dig your heels in and act selfishily you won't get anywhere at all.

Has to be what's best for the children

One of my best friends lives in Devon. Her ex lives in Brighton. He has their son eow. They both drive to a point about halfway for handovers. It is not ideal by any means, but her work is in Devon and his is in Brighton, so they manage. Lots of give and take and compromise. The child is happy as Larry actually, and loves his weekends by the sea, but also loves his life at home in the country.

You can make it work, but only if you want to.