How to confront my cheating husband now I have collected evidence?

[unknownfuture]

I posted a couple of weeks ago as had read texts that confirmed my suspicions that my H was having an affair. Thanks to some great advice on here I managed to get screen shots emailed to me of the incriminating texts and have now seen a solicitor so I know my rights regarding childcare etc.

I am certain I want to divorce. My husband is working away all week and so Saturday is going to be when I have the conversation.

How should I handle this? Do I ask him if he is cheating first and see what he reveals or should I simply lay all my cards on the table and say I know you are cheating as I have this evidence? What he says is a little immaterial as I cannot see any other excuse for the texts.

He is not physically abusive but can be quite emotionally abusive towards me and I am frightened that he will somehow manage to wriggle out of it and persuade me to stay when I really don't want to.

Hence coming here for advice as to how to handle The Talk

If you know he is having an affair and you know you wish to leave, there is no need to ask him if he is cheating. To do so would purely be:

a) be out of an amusing (none of this is funny OP, I hope you know what I mean though) curiosity, the spectacle of watching a grown lying cheat squirm etc

b) inviting him to persuade you you are delusional/that it means nothing/to stay with him

You might like to ask him for a sense of closure, but be prepared for him to lie further and attempt to mess with your mind.

If you don't want either the above, The Talk needs to be totally about your announcement of wanting a divorce, "you know why, let's not play games here" should be your only concession to his "but why?" protestations, and practically what you want to happen next regarding the house, finances and the children, who moves out and when. Give dates. Keep it quite formal and very practically-oriented. If he refuses to leave, then have a plan for you to for your own wellbeing (if your solicitor advises that is ok to do that).

Best of luck.

4 year old ZOMBIE thread.

Only skimmed the thread so apologies if I've missed a bit. I would suggest you speak to your solicitor before you speak to your husband and don't make any deals before you have had legal advice and time to take that on board. I'd be concerned about buying your own house (as you appear to be planning to do) before at least having formalised the separation. My worry would be that your new property might be classed as marital assets and he might be able to claim a share and make your new life difficult. I don't know for sure hence the urge to take professional legal advice as soon as you can.

4 year old ZOMBIE thread.

Gahhhh!

4 year old ZOMBIE thread.

Oh darned, why did it come up again?

Yeah, good one Melissa455 🙄

Spammer reported. No matter how desperate you are feeling please please don't give these bastards any money.

I do sometimes wonder if these “hackers” are genuine businesses with terrible advertising strategies, or scam artists who are bad at hiding it?

Don't sell yourself short financially.You will regret it later.Take what is yours(50% at least) and enjoy your new life

ZOMBIE THREAD