Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why is it so hard to think clearly about what is the right thing to do?

2 replies

runforest · 18/03/2013 12:19

Please help, my head feels in contant turmoil about what to do.

How can I not know if I am happy or not - I feel like I don't know my own mind!!

Been with dp over 2yrs,live in his house with him and rent out my own house .
We have had a really hard relationship with lots of problems with another women and him texting her phoning her etc ( but no actual affair )
and some other strange messages on his phone ( which he tells me he doesnt no who there from) could be true?!

I believe he loves me and since leaving him a couple of months ago, after a couple of weeks of him being so nice to me I went back .

But I have trust issues with him still, and every little thing I'm so hyper sensitive about.

He is trying really hard to make me believe everything is okay, if he gets a text message he tells me to open it to prove nothing bad is happening.
But in my mistrustful mind I just think he texts/calls when he's at work, like he used to. So it all means nothing to me anymore. When he tries to reassure me it feels like my mind just glazes over and it all just sounds like empty words.

I just don't know what to do, sometimes I feel so desperate to go, and find out who I am again but I love this man and am worried about ending something and it's the wrong thing to do!

I'm sure I must come across a insecure weirdo - which is how I feel these days.

But I am honestly not :) or I never used to be anyway :)

I am sorry to ramble on and I really appreciate you taking time to read this, any advice would be so good.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/03/2013 13:43

Your problem is that he is a persuasive liar. So when he's got you in his home, all you hear are the lies and the rationale and the 'being so nice' and so forth. It's like hypnosis.. manipulation. The sensible part of you is actually your 'mistrustful mind' as you call it. This is your subconscious yelling at you .... 'HE'S FUCKING AROUND!!! HE ONLY LOVES HIMSELF!!!'... in an attempt to get you to hear. If you're glazing over it's because you know you've made a mistake going back and he's talking a load of crap.

Find some gumption and go live somewhere else for as long as it takes to get him out of your system. What you're feeling is infatuation and not love. Otherwise you'll sleep-walk into a life of misery....

scaevola · 18/03/2013 13:46

Iit simply means that you have not yet had enough time to each yu own decisions about what you want next. This can take month. And the unwelcome presence of a partner who has betrayed you by having an emotional affair will slow, not enhance, this.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page