I'm ridiculous I know

[WinkyWinkola]

but every time pil come to visit, I get anxious, in knots, tense and worried.

I'm not a walkover kind of person but when I found the to be very controlling, interfering and judgemental when it came to my wedding and my children.

I put my foot down after 2 years of their behaviour and to be fair, they are toeing the line now.

We've invited them on holiday a couple of times, see them 8-12 times per year (they live 200 miles away), Skype etc.

But I still get this terrible anxiety before they come. Why? Am I so insecure? I feel like I have to remind them to behave well each time I see them.

Don't see them any more - friends should be people you look forward to seeing and your life is better for having them in your life.

What effect do his dps have on your dh? Does he want to spend holidays with them?

Why not confine them to Skype and maybe a visit 4 times a year?

Well, dh was devoted to them so much so that he would put them first.

I had to literally explain to him why his wife and dcs should come first.

He would see them every day if he could.

He's happy about going on holiday with them and would do that every year. But then he'd do that with my parents too.

I can't restrict their visits anymore than the current arrangements. Mil lives for her gcs and has had breakdowns over the lack of everyday involvement she has with them, particularly her dd's dcs. They've now moved to another city as well.

They just don't understand why we can't all live in each other's pockets.

I think I just feel like the bad guy for not wanting pil more in our lives. Rationally I'm fine with that but I do feel guilty. Mind you, mil couldn't even bear to have her mil over for lunch so I shouldn't feel bad.