diy obsession is driving me mad!

[pleasethatsenough]

I love my dh but his constant having to fix and make things is causing a bit of resentment on my part. I know a lot of my friends think i am lucky that things around the house are mended and done, but his constant doing stuff drives me mad. A lot of thevthings he does dont even need to be done so he just spends money we dont really have. Then invariably there is a problem resulting in more money and time. He becomes so distracted whilst doing something and cannot relax until its finished. Sorry to rant but yet again he has had to go and buy a part for something and we have friends coming for lunch in an hour so its all down to me. But i cant complain because he is doing something useful!

Yes you can complain.

Being effective means doing the right things. Today the priority is getting the house and lunch ready for friends. The equivalent would be you deciding that instead, the wardrobes needed turning out, leaving your husband to cook lunch and prepare the house unaided.

Sometimes unnecessary chores are undertaken by people to avoid doing tasks that are disliked. I expect that's what's going on here.

I don't mean to be flippant because I grew up in a house with a dad like that and a mum who painted everything in sight, including you if you stood still too long! But I have gone the opposite way and married a man who is not what we call "handy" round here and who needs his backside kicked to do any DIY stuff - would you like to swap for a week?

Agree with badinage. He's using DIY as an avoidance tactic. All this unnecessary mending, buying things and dreaming up projects is a deliberate way of being unavailable for something he doesn't want to be part of. Helping prepare for visitors on this occasion.

Yes, call him out on it especially if he's spending money you can't afford. What does he do for a living? Is it very boring & give him no sense of satisfaction? Very stressful? If you're short of cash as a family could he turn his hobby into a money-making rather than money-spending activity?

I call this sort of thing (thanks to Red Dwarf) Not doing it, in a "doing it" sort of way.

In other words, he is trying to pretend to be busy doing something so he doesn't have to do what actually needs doing. Because he doesn't want to.

Definately avoidance tactics.
He is avoiding doing normal family things by doing something 'useful'.
My XH was obsessed with doing the garden, rather than anything remotely helpful in the house or spend time with his DCs.
We did have loads of flowers, but he was being very selfish.