I'm going to have to be vague but I can't sleep because today I was in the same room as someone who treated me like trash as a child. My family know this but he is a close relation to one of my siblings and they're awesome at denial so it was happy family time.
I feel so violated and the thing that bothers me the most is that he got to talk to my DS who is a similar age compared to when this man was 'caring' for me. I was with my DS the whole time, I didn't take my eyes off of him, even though I know nothing could have happened, I just felt like he had no right to talk to someone who I cherish so much. I know my DS has the same eyes as me and he got to look into them, I hate myself for that.
My DH was at the party but he didn't know who this guy was and I kept quiet, not wanting to make a scene or rock the boat- maybe that's what made it worse.
I know I/DH/DS's and my DD (due very soon) will never be in the same room as this man again as I will make sure of it but I need to shake him off. Put him back where he belongs, in the past. He's not worth it and if anything can be taken from today its that he got to see that I'm not the spoilt brat he thought I was. That I have a beautiful happy (most of the time ;) little family, that know they are loved and will never be beaten or humiliated like I was by this 'man'.
I guess it might take a while for me to put this back in it's box but I just felt that I needed to get some of this out, instead of lying in bed with reflux, feeling like a sack of crap, thanks ladies x