Ive just left my partner of 15 years. What have I done?

[Wossit]

I put a thread in chat but this place is more appropriate. When I outlines my situation, all agreed I was best out of it.

But I cant switch my head off. Every few minutes Im flitting between thinking Ive done the right thing. We couldnt continue that way.

But the other though makes me cry, I wonder why couldnt I just shut my mouth and carry on the way we were? So there was no sex and no commitment but there was company, there was laughs, and the kids saw their beloved dad every day.

Now Im sat in alone, in a town where I know no-one, Im going to break the kids hearts when I tell them (my eldest anyway, the youngest is too young) and I hate being lonely. I have no life, the baby has serious multiple healtg problems, is breastfed and hugely reliant on me.

This is all my making. Ex didnt want another child, I wanted to move to this town and Ive made the decision to end this bad relationship.

Ive fucked it all up. And now I have to sit on my arse every night on my own and know that everyone is unhappy because of me.

I know you're totally right. And my rational side of me is 100% in agreement.

But a part of me doesnt cope well with lonliness, and I dont want to lose what I consider a best friend. I like talking to him in the evening watching TV etc I feel sick at the thought of being in on my own each night.

Im not going back on it. As far as Im concerned I am absolutely single and staying that way, but how we figure out the next bit... Im not sure.

Ive been Googling councellers in my town and there are loads.

Thank you for being so helpful, supportive and understanding. I really, really needed it. Thank you.

I know it's scary but please stay strong and talk to your GP if you have trouble sleeping, with anxiousness or feeling low x

It maybe worth speaking to Womensaid. I know he wasn't violent but this whole situation is so unhealthy it's disturbing. You knew it was, that's why you kept it hidden from your parents. Womensaid may have some good advice for you.

a good,good man? no he is a cocklodger.i will be flabbergasted if he doesnt have ow.grown men of 40 with jobs dont kip on friends sofa's-you know that right? yet you choose to believe it.he is not your responsibility-neither is he your best friend.friends dont act like this but you know that too.

Are you sure your STBXP is not gay?

Gay has crossed my mind. But I think this is selfpreservation, as in I thought '

Posted too soon

• as in I thought maybe its NOT me, maybe he's gay? But when he thinks Im not looking or if Ive not yet entered the room he'll make clear eyes at women. But of course thats all in my head and I paranoid, or a few years ago 'need psychiatric help'.

My ExH went off me physically when he was having an affair. It could be anything.

All I know is you deserve better!

How are you?

Feeling terrible Dontstep I just posted in the Stately Homes thread. Im feeling very very dark and the next step just looks so much darker.