how to leave my partner

[bubblebumblebee]

After many years of a rocky relationship with my partner I have finally accepted it is over, and I don't want to live with him anymore. The problem is we have a joint mortgage and live with our 2 children. He doesn't want to leave and I am currently a student, with very little money. I think we would have to sell the house, but then I am wondering how I could afford to live. What would happen to the equity i get from the house - would it all go on paying the rent on a new place. What benefits would I be entitled to. Ideally i would like him to leave. Any advice would be great. Thanks.

You need to run a few 'what ifs' to work out the best way forward. Money is pretty important. Find out from your Student Services team what financial help is available for students with dependants, for example. Check the CSA site for a guide on the amount of maintenance you could expect for the children. The benefits checker at www.turn2us.org.uk is another good resource, although the rules for people in full time education are slightly different - hence why you need Student Services.

The property is another important element. Either your partner needs to buy you out or you'll have to force a sale. CAB are quite helpful on legal matters although some family law solicitors will offer a free initial consultation. Get the best professional information you can and then try to agree a deal between you rather than involve too many lawyers ... it's cheaper.

Yes, when you get some equity from your house sale that will be your deposit/rent or however far it stretches on your new home. So if you think you'll end up with, say, £20k put that figure as your savings in the Turn2Us benefit checker as one what if scenario.

Good luck

Dear CogitoErgoSometimes

Thank you so much. You have given me somewhere to start. I really appreciate it!

If he would be willing to leave, I wonder how I would cover the mortgage and bills, as the mortgage is in both our names. He wouldn't be able to afford to rent somewhere and pay the mortgage - Has anyone been through anything similar, and could advise me? He wouldn't be able to afford to rent somewhere and pay the mortgage.