What puts you off a man's dating profile?

[StuffezLaBouche]

Been doing a lot of scouting about on Match (getting my bloody money's worth!!) and noticed there are certain things that either irritate me on a superficial level, or fundamentally piss me off. These include, but are in no way limited to:

Men who have kids but specify their potential date should have none.

The men who preface their profile with "no offence but I'm not into bigger ladies"

Men who are stunning, wink at you, but live 300 miles away

Men who are determined to sound more intelligent than they are, so word their profiles in a very pompous, irritating way. "Alas, ladies, I have to yet master the skill of...." Etc.

Any online daters care to share their thoughts? Am I being stupid? I have massive body hang ups so the second someone shows an interest in me I assume they're piss taking or similar.

[StuffezLaBouche]

Congratulations for finding a decent one, Estherbelle, and anyone else who has managed too. I did smile at these posts - some of them rung massive bells with what I've found too!
Another thing that gets me is men or wink or email me, when I clearly listed my body type as 'big and beautiful' (ha) but they specify they are looking for women who are "athletic and toned." How can I possibly email back? I can't exactly say, by the way you do realise I'm massive!?

[Trills]

I do wonder about "Men who have kids but specify their potential date should have none."

If a woman has no children then she either:
1 - wants children (so will want them with him, if things work out)
2 - does not want kids (so probably doesn't want to be a stepmother either)

Which of these situations is the man hoping for?

[StuffezLaBouche]

Who knows Trills, but perhaps it's a case of a bloke wanting a bit too much on his terms? As a woman in late twenties who does not want kids, finding a nice, single childless man is quite a challenge.

[Trills]

I would guess that the men who put down that specification are not really thinking and are just saying that they don't want the women they date to have any commitments that would stop them from being available whenever the man wants.

[StuffezLaBouche]

Yes. Exactly that!

[Nellymay]

who say they are lonely - they'll always be sad and lonely - woman or no woman
Who say they have come out of a bad relationship - its up to them to sort that out, its their business.

who are a bit too airy fairy - write their profile as if it is a poem - ye-uck!

kinky ones

[Kernowgal]

"I am a deep thinker and enjoy moments of contemplation"

= I will sulk and give you the silent treatment if you won't let me watch MOTD

[LesserOfTwoWeevils]

"staring off into the distance in a turtleneck"

"all the blokes local to me seemed to enjoy posing on their car bonnets with a fag in their hand."

[merrymonsters]

One of our neighbours has a couple of expensive sports cars. One day one of the cars was parked in the street and DH saw a man (not our neighbour) having a photo taken with the car. So it might not even be their car in the picture.

[Kernowgal]

This one was a bashed-up pink Honda Civic. It was definitely his

It's the "easy going" one that annoys me. Well, you're hardly going to write that you're a psycho or you insist on your ties being perfectly aligned on the hanger, are you?

I also struggle with the ones who will likely follow you around like a puppy: their profiles are full of cheesy shite that will engage any self-respecting woman's gag reflex.

And the ones that really love themselves are just hilarious. I want to give them a pat on the back and say "yes dear, well done".

[sensesworkingovertime]

Narcissistic ones.

[KatyTheCleaningLady]

I used to do a lot of online dating.

Big red flags for me were negativity of any sort (saying what they don't want rather than what they do) and any sexual innuendo in profiles or email.

[Loulybelle]

Ugh, i've been on sites, i always seem to find the pervy dickheads.
They home in on me. Dont do it anymore, i attract wrong uns.

But, its the negative crap that i dont like, i mean jeez, cheer the fuck up.

[WillIEverBeASizeTen]

Babe...makes me shudder..

[WillIEverBeASizeTen]

Actually...I'm gonna take a look now as I'm soooooo bored

[Loulybelle]

Describe yourself is another cringeworthy one......Well, im green, i have 2 heads, 1 huge tit, a fanjo big enough to fit a jumbo jet, no feet, lobster claws, and a face that makes the dead wake up and die again.

[Cailinsalach]

I have never done the on line dating but regularly read Soulmates in the Guardian.Some guy describing himself as an Irish feminist has advertised for months. So not a lucky feminist then. Another guy admits to having a lovely home in Devon. I so want to contact him and ask for more details about his property

[WarmFuzzyFun]

@ Loulybelle

[WallyBantersJunkBox]

Louley if we all club together for the membership will you set up the exact profile you've written below?

I would bloody love to see who replied to that one.

Do the green card mob still haunt these dating sites. My mate got shed loads of West Africans possibly coming to the end of their visa.

[Loulybelle]

Wally, i would too, i wonder if my POF profile is active.

[WallyBantersJunkBox]

Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaasssse????

[Loulybelle]

[Loulybelle]

oh bugger it.......

[meddie]

text speak and over lolling infact putting LOL once is enough

Posing next to a flash car or bike? WHY? I,m not looking to date your vehicle and if you think I will be impressed by your flash car then no actually, I am put off by the fact you think so little of yourself that you need to put your car in the photograph.

Any signs of bigotry, misogyny or racism

Woe is me profiles.... boo hoo I,ve had no luck, fed up being lonely.

Profile names like 'unluckyinlove' lonelyheart' desperatesingleton' It makes you come across as pathetic and needy.

profile names that are overtly sexual. 'biggusdickus' 'bangyouhard' etc etc

Anyone who describes themselves as a 'bit crazy' ' a bit of a nutter' usually anything but.

[Alittlestranger]

Err Greatscotty, my life is interesting and active and I'm on a dating site. Interesting and active doesn't automatically equate with "and also meeting lots of single people and having lots of sex".

And smugmarried, it's perfectly possible to be genuine and on a site long-term, not everyone settles.

Anyway, I dislike people who specify honest, no baggage, sane etc.

Men who specify a max cut off age which is younger than their's.

People who begin "I don't know how to start". Really, are you that inept? Do these people walk up to people in real life and mumble "I don't know how to start a conversation".

There are plenty of other things that will put me off, but that's more about the person clearly not being right for me rather than a poorly written profile per se.