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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Date tomorrow - help I'm crap at this!

6 replies

Greatscotty · 15/03/2013 19:23

Bit panicky. Last week I registered with OD site. It's a bit more 'up-market' than the usual POF. I'm a tad cynical as I've been stung before by dating this way.

So, I was walking through my high street last Saturday morning and I bumped into a guy I've known for a few years, I don't know him very well, it's a small town and lots of us know each other loosely with small groups of closer friends mixing and then everyone tends to go to the same events sort of thing.

He looked a bit embarrassed and said, "oh this is weird scotty, I've just seen you on" . I was a bit embarrassed too but we chatted and walked along the street until the end of my road and then I said goodbye. So then he says, "well like I said it was a bit weird seeing you on the site because I was going to ask you for a date".

So I said "yes why not" and we went out last Saturday night to a mutual friends birthday - there was so much dancing going on it wasn't like a date really. Anyway he asked me for a second date and I said lets have coffee the following weekend (tomorrow). So that's the plan.

Let me say now. I have a track record of getting involved with the wrong kind of guy and ignoring red flags. That's why it's been a week between date one and date two with no contact in between - I've read the Loving Him without Losing You book and I'm in there so trying the principles out. First one being take things slowly.

But this is all very strange to me. What the hell do I say? To add what I feel is pressure the rumour machine is well under way and I'm getting texts from friends who are all wanting to know if we snogged etc etc. He's nice, well thought of, but I think I need some advice on how to sit and have a conversation with a guy!!

OP posts:
Greatscotty · 15/03/2013 19:34

I didn't snog him btw!

OP posts:
Cailinsalach · 15/03/2013 20:12

Oh I hope it goes well for you. I have absolutely no advice, just good wishes. Let us know how it goes.

Usingtheplot · 15/03/2013 20:22

Well just because you've had bad realtionships in the past, I don't see why you shouldn't give it a go.
Be yourself and don't talk about previous bo friends FFS.
Don't get into a sweat about this guy being a boyfriend material, just enjoy the date.You never know,he might be Mr. Right.
You have nothing to lose.
I beleive everything happens for a reason.Good things happen when you are least expecting them.
My aadvice would be to take your books to the charity shop and trust your gut instincts.
FWIW I think you might get lucky with this one. He's got the guts to be open and honest with you. He obviously fancies you.
Who needs complicated people in their lives.
Go out with him, do something fun like seeing a comedy act and take it from thier. If you don't click romantically, he may well become a good friend.
Keep us posted.

Pipachi · 16/03/2013 08:07

And please don't feed the rumour machine. You need your privacy at this early stage. Good luck!

Pollykitten · 16/03/2013 08:12

you are referencing lots of external factors, but how do YOU feel? keep asking yourself this question & check that your happy with how things are progressing

Pipachi · 16/03/2013 08:38

And please don't feed the rumour machine. Ignore them. You need your privacy at this early stage.

As for the date, just go with the flow, ask a few questions about interests like sports, travel, music, his work. Let him talk and listen.

Men like talking about themselves, even more so when they are interested in a woman and a bit nervous. Naturally he wants to know more about you as well. Good luck!

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