Help me stay strong. I just said it was over.

[Bogeyface]

I need you MN.

I decided that after his sexting affair that it was over but then something happened that meant that splitting up really wasnt that simple. It is a very serious health issue with a very close family member (I dont want to say more so please dont ask).

But tonight he had too many (again) and kicked off again, as he always does and I have had enough. He wont leave tonight and I cant face trying to make him leave but I will do tomorrow. I have had to comfort 4 crying children who heard the row and the vile things he said, I want him gone, I hate him. They are still awake :(

But tomorrow I will probably wobble because the devil you know is better than the devil you dont. PLEASE dont let me cave, MN I need you.

I have been there for others like this and now I need you to be there for me. Dont let me give in. Please help me remember holding my teenage daughter crying in my arms because of the vile horrible things he was saying.

He threw his wedding ring at me, and I dropped it in the bin as if it was so much trash. My "affair" thread is posted as "wtfdoido"

xx

Bogeyface I was your teenage daughter who had to endure endless nights of fighting like that. My mum never left, divorced when we were grown up (typical).
It has affected many aspects of my life - I suffer from anxiety greatly, depression and panic attacks from being woken by screaming rows from 3years up until teenage years.
I also have no respect for my mother, not even now because she didnt kick him out or leave herself, instead just swept everything under the carpet. It really has damaged our relationship.
Please don't let this vile man ruin your children's childhood memories.
I don't have many good memories, just fights, because eventually you only remember the negative.
Good luck

Oh Bogey, you wonderful thing you.
I don't know what emoticon to put because I am so sad (and desperately trying not to remember how it was to live like that as a child) at what happened(s) and what feelings & scenes you have to go through to get shot.
But I'm also glad - glad you are setting your family free, glad you will be happy after the shit storm, glad that stbxh will no longer have what he didn't value.
Tumultuous times ahead - but you all deserve better.

If you wobble, well who doesn't really when it comes to the crunch? Just keep on being bloody minded until your heart's back in it.

Also - you made a mole from a what...what? I have no idea what that means but I need to do it too. Because a ninja stealth mole?...that's glorious!

You are doing incredibly well. You should be so proud of yourself. Your DCs will be in years to come. The more I learned what my father was like when I was little the more grateful I was she left before it could cause too much damage. Don't worry about wobbles, everyone wobbles but that doesn't mean you'll cave, it just means you're human and this was tough for you

(I recently left my DP and posted here and it partly the idea of having to come back and say I was still with him that kept me strong, glad that's helping you too).

Hope you're feeling ok

How are you bogey?

I am pretending nothing is happening and farting like a demon, without apologising which is all good! Seriously though, I am just not thinking about it.

Had mum and dad for lunch today, we are all doing ok :)

Not going to be this simple for long as "stuff" needs to be sorted, but at the moment its ok.

Thanks :)

totallybursar (love the name btw, I am a Pterry fan too!) My son is a Ginger Ninja (glorious sandy ginger hair!) and glasses so I call him my ginganinja and dressed him as a mole for world book day!

Glad it's going ok (Ish)

On a theme, dd1 has spent all day pin pjs clutching her guts, I was seriously stressing she had appendicitis till she had a particularly bad pain followed by a mega trump...

She has been texting from upstairs asking if she can stay in tomorrow as she is still in pain and sharting herself at school would be social suicide...

I can't imagine you doing anything other than coping wonderfully btw, for you add the kids.

Quick update before bed

Had a difficult (for him) conversation earlier. I think the fact that I mean it has really hit home because I didnt get either "charming" him or "bombastic" him. I got defeated him, which is new and very sad. I wish he hadnt done this to either of us :( but mostly I wish he hadnt done this to him. I know I will be ok but the confusion and fear in his face........ oh you stupid man. I think today is the first time that he has realised that he really did have it all and then threw it away.

Tomorrow is the day I give up smoking, why make it rain if you can make it pour eh?!

He may be sad, but so is this:

Please help me remember holding my teenage daughter crying in my arms because of the vile horrible things he was saying.

... so perhaps he needs to feel sad, fearful and confused. This is what he visited on his DD.

Don't let me give in

... We won't....you're doing brilliantly, hang in there.
And good luck with kicking the habit, a brave step forward

No advice but sending best wishes to you and your family!