How can men not see they have double standards?!

[DaysieGoneBananas]

DH and I have 3 DCs. They are lovely but a handful. He has very little patience with them when they are being ...well children, and not listening etc. I am always the one calming things down and keeping the peace. Yesterday was a bad day with the kids for me. I am always tired at tge moment and am having a few tests to find out why. I was really upset when DH came home from work (especially as he was off out for his dinner with work so I was doing bedtime with 3 hyper children alone as he ponsed about getting ready) the kids had been hyper all day and I just (out of kids earshot) growled/screamed in frustration with a them. I was told to calm down or i would end up going mad and having a break down. He couldnt see what all the fuss was about. No of couse not cos he was escaping grrrrr sorry pointless post just venting so I really do apologise.

And you didn't walk out the house leaving him with the children because...

Yup. That's what id have done

I was very tempted but it was a meal with his boss he was off to. But I was very close to pouring the spaghetti I'd just made over his head!

OK, there have been centuries of everyone being constantly told that women aren't fully human, that they exist for men's benefits and only function when serving their male owner and raising his children - the modern version is that men 'don't notice dirt' and that women are just better at childcare and domestic shitwork.

It's still bullshit. Get on to some friends and arrange a night out for yourself tomorrow, and in the morning tell your H, don't ask him, to look after the DC, dinner, baths, bedtime. It's your turn for a jolly.

Yes, or just some you time, out of the house.

I totally understand where you are coming from I too have the same problem and as main carers of the children its a tough life. Honestly, its easy to say walk away get out but where to? Not as if there is a line of girlfriends waiting to see you, in real life everyone else has their families and life to get on with. Yes the odd night out is great but its the other 6 evenings I have to plough through without losing it.

I dont think its usual to feel like you do. It is very easy to drop comments and sadly men are great at this!

Be thankful it was a one off comment I have two DS who are wild and I live with comments on my poor parenting skills.

OP. he went out for a meal while you put the children in bed. He owes you a big one there.

Next time, you go out for dinner while he puts the children in bed and see how philosophical he will be then.

I'm going through a rough patch with my 3 year old at the moment, and I'm losing it more often than I should with him and his brother lately. I can totally see your point....

Thanks for the replies. I'd love to go out but lack of funds and friend availability s kind of put the kibosh on that! HOWEVER. I told him in no uncertain terms he was being a knob saying that and he hss since apologised and said I need a night out so am working on a girly meal at a friend's...honestly us Mums need a bigger diarycthan a PR manager!