Scared of leaving

[riamay2011]

Hi
I'm trying to pluck up the courage to leave my OH. He is controlling, and abusive. Mentally and physically.
I have done all the benefit checks to see what I'm entitled to, and it appears I would be ok.....until my DD were old enough to go to school and I get a job. It's just leaving or telling him to leave which is the hard part as he always threatens to take my girls away. I have photos of when he has hit me etc would this help?
Thanks for reading
It's just leav

Never, ever give in to emotional blackmail! Be strong! Your DH would never get custody if he is violent. Other people will be along here soon with their wisdom and experiences.

Meanwhile, best wishes.

Riamay, have you spoken to Women's Aid? They can give you expert advice on dealing with leaving - and do please take it, because the time you leave an abuser is the time you are at the highest risk from his aggression. You might have to leave quickly and at short notice. So please call on some outside help.

www.womensaid.org.uk/default.asp

Having said that, the police should remove him from your home if you have been abused like this. At the very least, the attacks should be logged with your local police DV unit.

Good luck.

Please make sure you delete your browser history and phone logs. Chrome lets you delete individual pages from your history rather than having to delete whole blocks which will be deemed suspicious by any abusive spouse who is checking up on such things.

I'd also recommend contacting Women's Aid. Rather than trying to challenge an abusive/violent man to his face I think you'll be told to get yourself and your DCs to a place of safety and then manage the break-up from a distance.

Yes, Women's Aid. And it's very, very common for men like this to threaten to take the dcs. In fact, it's part of the standard script.

If I were you, as soon as I left I would take those photos to the police. The reason is that legal aid is going to be withdrawn from family cases except where there has been DV. So you really, really need to get the DV on the official record.

Is there any way you can go down to the police station and have a chat with their DV liaison officer?