single dad

[daddysgirls]

not sure if this is a good idea but in for a penny ! I need help to raise my 3 little girls after mum died , i cant connect properly and am desperate for love myself, its a nightmare... i know this is not dadsnet but i need a mothers advice !

Parentsnet doesn't have the same ring to it though does it? I think thhere are a few regular posters who are male.

You should join the single/dating thread on here (!)

where is that thread ?

Internet dating might be worth a try, combined with asking the oldest to babysit from time to time. Or other teens in the village, or an au pair.

There is a dating site called single with kids I think where you could chat to other single parents who understand. Maybe even women who have lost their partners too. It must feel very isolated for you at the moment. So sorry.

Thank you i will try that one, i assume you are a midwife ? i delivered my second daughter at home on my own !!

Wow well done you! I'm a community midwife & sometimes get called out to unplanned births at home. Mum & baby usually fine, Dad pale & shocked!!

I wouldnt ask your eldest to babysit if she gets anxious. Maybe think about moving into a local village and get an au pair so that you have home help and they have another 'grown up' in the house.

I am also a LP, in a very rural area and I found it hard going at first. I did internet dating for about 18 months and eventually met my now DP on e harmony. Mind you, I did kiss a few frogs along the way, but I kept it very seperate from my DC. Have a look on the dating thread in relationships, its an interesting read. I still lurk there a bit as, the 'fit and interesting' thread that used to be on here was a lifeline for me when I was dating

I think you probably need some counselling both individually and as a family. I don't mean this to sound harsh but I think you're placing obstacles in front of yourself that either don't exist or shouldn't exist. That stuff about being a man in a woman's world, for example... I'm sorry but I think that's your insecurity talking rather than the reality. Also, there are no prizes for being a martyr parent. Children, given the opportunity, quite capable of understanding that Dad/Mum need their own friends and activities. They shouldn't feel responsible for you.

Even if you work and run a home, you can be part of a social circle if you have the motivation and a little creativity. If you keep setting up obstacles, it won't happen.

i can't really add to all that good advice, but just want to say you sound like a lovely man and have taken a step in the right direction to join MNErs. i am married, but do have teenage children and they like nothing better than their parents going out and leaving them alone. ATUA is right. you're only asking your eldest daughter to babysit (if only for a few hours) and a bit of cash soon helps them forget worries! teenagers are normally quite self-absorbed. they don't want to think about anyone else. get yaself out there. a hobby or gym is best. you can always leave if you don't like it. i joined a french class. it was great. and i'm crap at french! there weremore men than women. so there you go! moving to a town is essential if you've got teenagers as well. good luck.