Twin Souls

[utterlyconfused11]

I am a regular but name changed.

I have been in a strange place lately i.e feelings etc... done some research and this is what it came up with, does anyone believe in this?

It's lust.

And Arf at Bunny "Is the OM Jesus?"

Ah.....ok

suppose that maybe what i'm looking for a knight in shining armour and that is a load of crap...men are arses,full stop.

vitaminC, it's nothing like having a twin. I have a twin and we damn nearly killed each other growing up

You need to extract yourself from your current relationship before you start looking for shags "twin soles".

Not all men are arses by any means... but there are no men who are knights in shining armour either. Can you get out of your current relationship and then have some time on your own to work out what you want next?

Sorry for taking the mick OP

Feelings of this intensity are often borne from situations of unhappiness. The fact that you have an abusive DP will have made you seek something else to focus on. Something positive. But these feelings aren't real. It's a big distraction.

VitaminC what you describe is not spooky or supernatural or a "twins" situation. It's just coincidence and an attraction to familiarity. I really don't get why anyone would want to be with someone identical to themselves

I should add, that when I met my SO, we were both in other relationships. I was about to end my EA marriage, but another relationship was the last thing on my mind!

We were friends for a few years, but at one point I realised he probably fancied me and he started getting a bit clingy (probably because his relationship was breaking down and he was looking for someone to cling on to). Anyway, I cut ties at that point and had no contact with him for a couple of years.

When we we met up again, we were both single and I realised that I did actually find him attractive, and I loved his company, so I made the first move and we've been together ever since

I agree with other posters' suggestions that you deal with your current relationship first, and then if anything's meant to happen between you and the other guy, it will...

VitaminC - Thats what i'm talking about. When he's in the room i feel safe and content when he leaves i feel empty.

No...men aren't arses full stop.
Your current one is though, and yes....you are looking at this guy like a knight on a white charger....the one who can make it all better for you. He is just a man though....the person with the real power to heal is yourself. xxx

I do have morals as does he, nothing would happen until ive sorted my whole messy life out.

Yes I have felt like this, many times. Usually they are very hot and I want to shag them.

It's ok Bunny.

Bunny It makes life so much easier not having to worry about how the other partner will react to stuff. And it's nice finally being with someone who really "gets" me!

The thing with being stuck in abusive relationships is that is someone who is remotely attractive comes along its quite easy to see them subconsciously as a "rescuer" and it's nearly impossible to think rationally about them or let yourself see any possible bad points.

I've questioned it for years now...just need to get the courage to leave for good.

It's different to anything ive ever felt before so perhaps by talking on here i'm just trying to sort it out in my head as i feel as guilty as hell for having these feelings for someone else.

it sounds like infatuation rather than anything to do with jesus

Thank you Beer. I'm fighting with my head every day,guess i'm just tired of it all.

I think BTP had it about right when they said that you have to be your own Knight on a White Charger. It's partly that you have a crush on this man - quite natural and can happen to anyone - but also that he represents freedom, safety, kindness. All things you could quite easily achieve by rejecting your abusive relationship and pursuing independence. Rather than feeling guilty for wanting something as basic as friendship or kindness, and rather than obsessing about this one person in isolation, use the experience to spur you on to get out of your current relationship.

While you're sorting things out in your head', there's nothing at all to stop you starting down the road to a separation. I've often found that waiting for things to 'feel right' before acting is a waste of time. Act first... sort heads out later.

Bit intrigued as to why you couldn't stand him before...if he's kind, safe etc.