Not sure where to start. I am 14 weeks pregnant and only been with DP for a few months. The baby was a surprise but we got over the shock and were working towards being with each other and getting used to the idea we would be a family soon. I also have a 3 year old from a previous relationship who he was getting to know slowly and although nothing was set in stone I was feeling like we were generally going in the right direction and we were talking about moving in together.
I had been a bit worried that he wasn't as serious about me as he claimed as I thought he was being a bit distant, and I found a dating profile in his favourites on his laptop (I met him online). He assured me it was an old one that he did have but that all of them were deactivated when we decided to be exclusive, which was within a couple of weeks of meeting. When I clicked on it there was no photo and it did say he had been online a while ago. I have a bit of a suspicious mind as my ex cheated on me via these sites and facebook and I found texts to OW on a secret phone. Anyway I decided to just let it go.
He came with me to my scan and was chatting about names and sex of baby and I thought we were fine. That night he didn't text me or call and I had to text him. I was worried that he was running scared as he had originally wanted to terminate and I felt that is something I just don't want to do. He finally replied and had a few worries and what ifs but we talked it through.
I was feeling insecure and remembered what I'd read on here about googling emails and usernames. Well I wish I hadn't in a way as I think I opened a can of worms. I found one profile from that username I knew with women commenting that he's not a great guy to put it mildly. I also found 4 facebooks (!) when he said he only had one for his business, and I had the password for that as he often asked me to put photos on or update the text as his English is not up to it (he's not from here).
I know there's no good reason to have secret facebooks so I kept going and found an ex via google too. She has her own business and a mobile number was listed. I rang her and she was kind and chatted to me for a long time and said she could never trust him and while he didn't think he'd cheated, as they lived in each other's pockets and worked together and he was never out in the evenings, whenever her back was turned he was always texting women and chatting online. She said he can make the dating profile invisible so it looks like it's deactivated, but it's still in use.
He apparently has a secret phone full of sex buddy nos, some of which he's been seeing for years, and I have actually seen this phone but he said it was for his new business before the landline was put in and then claimed he didn't use it any more. She said she got a hold of it and called the nos and some said we know he's living with you and we don't see him anymore and some said he still texts.
I confronted him but he's trying to deny most of it, some of it he's saying is in the past and he's changed (!) and also that the ex is putting the boot in. I know I can't believe him can I? people don't change that quickly or for no reason. Looks like he's enjoying himself where's the incentive to change? He gave no good reason for the secret facebooks or the active dating profile, tried to say that must be someone else using it and it's deactivated!! The ex had a fake one on there to catch him out, she went back into it the other day and sent him a message and he read it within 3 minutes it said. He claims that account's been shut down for 3 years.
Obviously I feel very hurt and need advice on how to move on and heal. He wants to see me to talk about things but I can't see the point. Last thing I wanted was to be a single mum to 2 kids with 2 different dads, but I know I can't stay with someone like that.