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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I was very proud of myself today until....

25 replies

getsomeperspective · 11/03/2013 20:56

Today was my first day alone with newborn dc and toddler. I went to playgroup where I bf in public for the first time, went to a couple of shops to pick up a few bits we needed. I washed my hair, did a load of washing, emptied all the bins, cleared away all nappies from the bedroom, fed us x3 and cleared up, wiped down kitchen surfaces and ran the dishwasher, emptied recycling, renewed car insurance due tomorrow, sorted small pile of paperwork in the kitchen, had dinner ready for DH when he got home to a clean and tidy house. I was really quite pleased with myself.

Toddler and I had been playing shops and reading books while I cluster fed baby, so on the living room floor was a till, a beanbag, some books and a puzzle we did earlier we had not yet put away.

His first words? 'We really have to teach him to tidy up after himself, I don't want to get home after a day at work to toys everywhere'

Tomorrow when baby sleeps (for 15 mins at a time) I am going to sit down and put my feet up. Any more comments like that and he can go and stay in a hotel.

And yes, I know I let him behave like this but I have argued about it so much I haven't the energy anymore.

OP posts:
TrinityRhino · 11/03/2013 20:57
pinkyredrose · 11/03/2013 20:58

You appear to be married to an arsehole.

Bogeyface · 11/03/2013 20:59

"I really have to teach you to shut the fuck up, how to put a few toys away or leave. I dont want to live with you being an utter cunt every day"

ClippedPhoenix · 11/03/2013 21:03

I'm with Bogeyface on this. He's an arse.

Tell him to find alternative accommodation.

kerstina · 11/03/2013 21:04

Show him this thread ! He just had not a clue has he Hmm
You need to go out at the weekend and perhaps list jobs for him to do and pick flies as soon as you get in . Really feel for you Op

Diagonally · 11/03/2013 21:05

Well carry on being proud of yourself because you sound bl**dy amazing.

Your H, otoh, sounds like an arrogant arsehole.

Cakethrow · 11/03/2013 21:13

What bogeyfacesaid.

Hugs to you OP, it sounds like you did brilliantly today.

I have two pre schoolers and an 8 week old and I've recently ditched the cunt who used to do me down (including telling me I needed to lose weight as I was too 'portly' - size 12 after 3 kids - and that I look like desperate dan (!) amongst similar slob comments etc.)

Life is so much more pleasant now.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles · 11/03/2013 21:13

Well I'll say it if he won't. What a fantastic achievement today was Smile well done! It sounds like a lovely, lively day meeting the needs of both toddler and newborn.

Ignore the nob. Enjoy any spare minute you can grasp tomorrow. Brew

FastidiaBlueberry · 11/03/2013 21:19

Nip that in the bud.

It's fucking downright disrespectful and entitled.

He had a child. He has no right to walk into a toy-free space.

pinkyredrose · 11/03/2013 21:24

Yes well done OP you've had a very productive day.

getsomeperspective · 11/03/2013 21:28

Thank you. I am still proud of myself, I think both children had a lovely day. Off to bed now as will be woken for a feed shortly but not complaining, baby is lovely :-)

OP posts:
targaryen24 · 11/03/2013 21:32

That's more than I ever did!!

You should be MEGA proud, though don't feel bad if you can't keep it up everyday, regardless of what DH wants. It's hard bloomin' work Smile

mercibucket · 11/03/2013 21:38

mwwah.com.au/mwwah/well-today-i-didnt-do-it/

this link is for your dh

sorry i cant make it work automatically, just google
today i didnt do it
if it doesnt work

MissSingerbrains · 11/03/2013 21:42

You've done so well - you should be really proud! You actually achieved more than I did today (and neither of my DC is a newborn or a toddler!) Smile

My DH can sometimes come out with grumpy comments like that, but I assume he means well (in his own little world!), something along the lines of "Well I'm not having a go at you, I know it's the DC's fault" but it comes out all wrong. TBH those comments piss me off too, and I do tell him.

Enjoy your lovely baby and toddler tomorrow, you're doing great! Thanks

Facebaffle · 11/03/2013 21:44

merci Grin

Well done OP - you've had a great day.

Noggie · 11/03/2013 21:50

You sound amazing! Don't do too much and end up shattered - my HV always said that parenting is a marathon not a sprint! Your hubbie needs to think about what you HAVE done rather than pick up on a tiny thing x

Chandon · 11/03/2013 21:55

What a dick.

Are you a stepford wife? Did you sign up for this kind of life?

IMO you try too hard to please him...

LemonPeculiarJones · 11/03/2013 22:12

What a prick Angry

Tell him he's been a stupid, thoughtless arse.

recall · 11/03/2013 22:15

Bogeyface Grin

BoffinMum · 11/03/2013 22:24

Lie in bed next time, eating grapes and reading magazines, and make sure his dinner is not ready when he comes home. When he goes all 1950s on you, ask him what he is cooking tonight, as you have been bf his child all day.

Dare you.Wink

UmBongo · 11/03/2013 22:33

You did all that in ONE DAY! I have ds at school and dd 10 mths. I did the shopping, made a batch of baby food, put most of the shopping away, oh and one load of washing. Fortunately dh is used to putting up with the chaos! Good luck.

changeforthebetter · 11/03/2013 22:36

You, I am in awe of Thanks

Him, I despair of. Angry

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot · 11/03/2013 22:41

You did LOADS - well done, that's more than I often manage on a day by myself Grin

If he's generally this much of an arse - you are going to have to tell him what's what or you'll be showing him the door before long if you've any sense. Git Angry

MaggieMaggieMaggieMcGill · 11/03/2013 22:44

I don't think I've ever managed to achieve that much in a five day period!
I do have mild CFS though.
My stbex-h did manage to trigger OCD in me postnatally, commenting that if the kitchen surfaces continued to look like that (they were in need of a wipe, but only from the course of that day) he'd start eating all his meals at work.
Things like that that led to the divorce pathway!
I would try and talk(calmly) to your h about that sort of comment. Based on your op, it was totally and utterly uncalled for.

Skyebluesapphire · 11/03/2013 22:47

Agree with bogeyface!

Next time shove the puzzle up his arse then go out and leave him to get tea and tidy up!

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