So I have told him

[catkin14]

I finally got brave! Told H it is over with us.
I was as kind as i could be, we didnt shout or get mad and stayed adult.

He agreed neither of us happy but has gone to pieces.

I feel really bad but cannot change how i feel about him. And i cannot live a lie.
And we both deserve to be happy.

Worst thing i have ever had to do.

Did u have another thread about this? I read one recently.... J have to do the same thing soon

Bet that's a huge weight off your shoulders

Well done and a huge hug for you.

As a friend told me when I split up from my H, the hardest bit is deciding what to do. Once that is over everything should start to become easier and clearer. There are still ups and downs to come but in the long run your smile will be much bigger.

I'm a regular but have name changed due to H finding past posts.

I too ended it with my H at the end of last year. I was in turmoil for months as we have 2 DC and I knew how much it would affect their world but was I was so unhappy I just couldn't carry on.

Ending it was horrible and he took it badly. We are now over 2 months on and even though it's been tough and there have been plenty of up and downs I know I have done the right thing.

My STBXH moves into his own place in the next couple of weeks so until he is gone I feel in limbo but am excited (and scared!) about the future. I have had amazing support from my family and friends and the DCs seem to be coping well although I know it's early days.

You do both deserve to be happy - I felt that staying in an unhappy marriage was also unfair to my H and hopefully in the future he will come to realise that too. Good Luck x

Thanks for replies.
He has taken it badly but is has made my resolve stronger oddly.
I feel v bad about it, DS was shocked but understood (he is 14) and i have tried to impress upon H it is important that DS knows he is loved and none of this is because of him n does not feel pulled between us.

You will all know from being a mum how you spend your life putting everyone elses feelings in front of your own how hard it is to put yourself first, to not feel like you are most selfish person who has walked the planet.
I hope this will all eventually work out for us all.
HeySoulSister - i have posted to say i was going to leave on earlier posts, was i mad etc

I am relieved it is done but feel sooo s**t for having been the one to do it : (

I know you feel shit for doing it but in the long run hopefully you can feel proud that you have given you both the opportunity to have happier lives. I agree that ensuring your DS is loved on all sides and doesn't feel any bitterness from either of you is hugely important (said from experience of being stuck between very bitter divorced parents).
What plans next then? Any idea how to sort the pracalities or are you just going to let the dust settle first?