Thinking about my relationship with my mum

[moderateorgood]

I want to feel more at peace with the way things are. Or I want to improve things.

I don't want to feel so angry and hurt.

I have a very strong suspicion that my mother is just a normal person, not perfect but who is? She has got things wrong over the years but she meant well.

This morning I got to thinking about it all and ended up ranting for 15 minutes, furiously telling the bathroom mirror all the things I want to say to her, but never would.

But I know if I did say any of it to her she would very easily convince me that her behaviour is perfectly fine and I'm only remembering the bad bits and I'm being all dramatic and hysterical. And then I think that if she can calmly and easily explain that she's not that bad, then maybe she isn't that bad?

When I tell close friends about her they are horrified, but I constantly wonder if I am just making it all sound worse than it is, or saying things out of context.

I think I might be one of those dreadful adults who can't let go of a few mistakes made by their parents. All I really want is not to feel so horrid about it all, and I have no idea how to go about achieving that

Opinion of close friends however can be instructive.

What did you speak of when you talked to yourself in the bathroom mirror?. Were these really mistakes or did such behaviours keep happening which would put all that into a totally different category?.

Has she ever apologised for her actions or even taken full responsibility for same?.

If you have siblings, do you feel that they were treated differently to you?.

Was wondering if you've ever looked at the "well we took you to Stately Homes" thread?.

Have you considered speaking to a counsellor about your mother?. That may well be worth your time and consideration now.

OP, there's a thread in Chat at the moment you may find interesting

here it is