Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why is Lundy Book: The Batterer as Parent so expensive???

13 replies

fishingtrip · 10/03/2013 14:10

Name-changer...

I'm looking for the above Lundy book - but on Amazon it's coming up as £30+!!!! Shock
And same on Ebay. Anyone any idea why it's so much? Any ideas on where to get it for less?

Cheers muchly.

OP posts:
Grinkly · 10/03/2013 14:46

It is a similar price on amazon.com - it might be an academic hard back book rather than a paperback for the general public.

Toomanycuppas · 11/03/2013 05:35

Have you tried your local library?

fishingtrip · 11/03/2013 10:28

I have tried the local library, Too, they don't have any Lundy Bancroft books in the whole region.

Maybe it is that it's an academic book Grinkly - I've downloaded Chapter 5 from somewhere, and it is quite dense going. Anyone know if the other Bancroft book - When Dad Hurts Mom - is good? It's both for me, and potentially the kids, to read.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 11/03/2013 11:49

how old are the kids? they all academic and/or aimed at the parent as far as i can see .

womens aid has some suggestions for kids
www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-articles.asp?section=00010001002200020001&itemid=826

fishingtrip · 11/03/2013 12:47

Thanks cestlavie - they are older though, 12 and 13. I feel they are feeling guilty about some stuff, and it would be quite easy for them to get hoovered back in, I want to arm them with information, knowledge is power and all that. They are at the point I was at about 6 months ago with guilt and feeling responsible.

I'll maybe contact WA and ask them if they have any older recommendations. Thanks for the advice.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 11/03/2013 14:21

they might find couple of therapy sessions useful? ask WA or gp

fishingtrip · 11/03/2013 15:27

Yes, that'll hopefully be getting arranged, cest. I just wanted to be able to give them something to read over for now, as the counselling could take a while to come through.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 11/03/2013 15:28

Have you read the oft-recommended Why Does He Do That? That's by Lundy Bancroft too and is excellent (and standard paperback price!)

cestlavielife · 11/03/2013 15:34

there may be relevant chapters in why does he do that which you could pass to the dc to read.

BertieBotts · 11/03/2013 15:35

V accessible too whereas that parent as batterer book looks academic definitely.

When dad hurts mom looks good from the amazon preview, but I haven't read it. It might be more geared towards your situation I think. Libraries can sometimes get books in for you for a nominal fee :)

fishingtrip · 12/03/2013 10:07

I've read WDHDT and Should I Stay or Should I Go. I'm thinking about giving them WDHDT, but it's got a lot of swearing (although I'm sure they would be ok with that!), and it's quite full on with details and so on, I'm not sure they are ready for that yet. But yes, that's not a bad idea, I'll have a look at the specific chapters on abusers and children in the Lundy books I've already got.
I might get When Dad Hurts Mom anyway and see if I think it's suitable.

Thanks for all your help, everyone. Thanks

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 12/03/2013 10:15

TBH I think they're all going to be quite explicit unless you get books aimed at children or teenagers. Perhaps something else, toxic parents kind of book? The stately homes people might be able to suggest something?

When Dad Hurts Mom looks good for enabling you to support them, though.

NicknameTaken · 12/03/2013 10:34

Yes, I think When Dad Hurts Mom is aimed more at parents compared to The Batterer as Parent, which is more for a legal/academic audience from what I've seen. I haven't read the whole of The Batterer as Parent, but I found parts a bit scary, as it aims as policy change and so talks about worst-case scenarios. When Dad Hurts Mom takes the starting point that you might have to live with the situation, and here's how.

Tbh, I'm not sure I got a lot of tips to follow from it. It does talk about helping your dcs to become critical thinkers, so they can spot when individuals and even things like TV ads are trying to manipulate them.

I do think Why Does He Do That is the best book. Maybe you could go through it chapter by chapter with them (not all chapters will be relevant), discussing as you go?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page