How can I leave if he owns our house?

[whymeagain]

Sorry if this comes out jumbled as I am very upset. Brief history, been together 14 years, DP has owned a house for last 8 years by himself (he said he wasn't ready to move in with me when he bought it). I moved in when I found out I was pregnant 4 years ago and discovered he had been cheating on me. Stupidly I realise now I stayed and tried to work things out. 4 years on I am pregnant with our 2nd (planned). I just discovered he has a secret twitter account. There is reference to me and DD on there, and the odd picture of me and lots of DD. But there is also pictures of him posing with descriptions he has written like sexy and fit. He has a lot of women followers. Why does he feel the need to do this?? I would never set up an account of myself posing, it's horrible. Something like teenages do (we are in our 30s). I am so angry I just cannot cope with this and a difficult pregnancy. I want to leave as I just cannot trust him but he owns the house. I have no family or friends who have any room for me and DD (apart from a sofa which I cannot sleep on as I have very bad SPD) I have no money except a credit card and an account with an overdraft, these combined give me access to about £5,000 that I could borrow. But how would I find somewhere else to live without a job? How would I pay the credit card back if I used that? Who is going to rent to a pregnant jobless women? I'm so upset and confused.

and let him talk to you about how he feels?

Yes he just said he wants us to move forward and be happy. But I struggle with this.

When I do have sex I do enjoy it, it is just the thought of doing it that turns me off

The above isn't an uncommon feeling; it's often occurred to me that a modicum of tinkering with our physiological design would produce a more expedient way of ensuring the female orgasms every time survival of the species in less than tropical climates

I am of a mind with PQ in that your lack of honesty has no doubt caused your dp unnecessary emotional hurt and equally undesirable sexual frustration. However, as it seems to me you've judged yourself and found yourself wanting. there's nothing to be gained from apportioning blame at this late stage

You say that you've been 'working on this' by which I take it to mean that you, in particular, are endeavouring to be more responsive to your dp's need for a physical union with you, and I would again suggest that you source counselling to help you overcome the understandable response occasioned by the 'thought of sex'.

Given that you enjoy the act itself, I feel sure you'll soon be able to resolve your issues and allow your relationship with your dp to become all it can be in every way.

Alternatively you can opt to do nothing in which case it would seem inevitable that, sooner or later, your dp's head will be turned by a woman who is not opposed to demonstrating her love for him by deeds as well as words.

This is a really sad and difficult situation for you. I wish there could be some awareness campaign highlighting how financially vulnerable women in your situation are. The only thing you can do is weigh up your options and seek legal advice. I agree that it is strange he bought a house in his own name when you had been together for quite some time

Thanks for your wise words izzyizin that has given me a lot to think about.

You have a man who's made you feel safe for the past 14 years and you're about to have your 2nd dc with him.

I think it's time for you to reciprocate his obvious love for you by doing every you can to show him how much you care for him, don't you? (I'm aware there's far too many 'you's' in that sentence but if it gets the message across I'm happy to be become toast on the fire of a pedant).