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Original poster

Met a fab man but...

54 replies

ActiveC · 09/03/2013 10:20

He told me he as two children but in all actuality, he has four.

I dont have any but made it clear i absolutely adore children

if he can lie about such a thing , what else can he be hiding?

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 09/03/2013 13:14

I came from the other thread. It looks very bad that he lied about the number of children he has. He sounds irresponsible and manipulative and that's being kind. The first thing you should do is make sure he is not still married to his partner. Or that the split is just temporary. I don't think this sounds very promising to build a good relationship on. Please be aware that he could be a total and out an out liar and deceiver.

izzyizin · 09/03/2013 13:28

It may be considered bad form by some but, I as I fail to see how anyone can give appropriate advice without having the whole story, here's a link to your highly readable other thead: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1703681-Advice-please

I would suggest that until such time as you know considerably about this man, you refrain from indulging in any fantasy thought of exchanging 'vowels' with him and, in addition, I suggest you also apply this embargo to exchanging bodily fluids with this obvious leg over merchant him.

badinage · 09/03/2013 13:32

He is not a 'fab man'.

He is a liar.

Does he pay for all his existing children and when I say pay, exactly half or a fair proportion of all of their costs?

Does he play an active role in their upbringing and does he do his fair share of childcare and parenting them on their own?

Don't even think about staying in a relationship with a man who lies and abandons his children. Or one who can't afford the children he has and yet can't wait to impregnate another woman with more kids he'll dump and not pay for later on.

MaggieMaggieMaggieMcGill · 09/03/2013 13:33

As soon as the word 'courting' was used, I knew it was thr same op!

pictish · 09/03/2013 13:33

Succinctly put there badinage.

FellNel · 09/03/2013 13:35

And I want to know why he was emailing someone, 'proudly proclaiming to be the father of four wonderful children'. Confused

Who was he emailing and why was he having that particular discussion? Very odd indeed.

badinage · 09/03/2013 13:36

Thanks for the link Izzy. That thread went well didn't it? Shock

izzyizin · 09/03/2013 13:36

How did you come to meet this man? Was it through online dating or did someone you know in rl introduce you to him?

AnyFucker · 09/03/2013 13:38

another bloke lying about children he has fathered ?

that's 3 this week on MN alone, I count

I seriously suggest that at this early stage of your dating (I won't call it a relationship, because it isn't) you tell him to fuck right off

izzyizin · 09/03/2013 13:41

It's certainly brightened my day given me food for thought badinage Hmm

middleeasternpromise · 09/03/2013 13:42

That was indeed essential back ground reading issyizin this thread really doesnt do justice to the material at hand. OP did you manage to glean anything else from accessing his emails? Have you as yet notified him of your discovery as I would be interested to know his views on such disagreeable behaviour.

badinage · 09/03/2013 13:49

The only words missing from the other thread were 'shew' and 'ha-ha' Wink

Inertia · 09/03/2013 13:50

What else is he hiding?

Probably your existence from his wife.

MTSgroupie · 09/03/2013 13:58

After knowing the guy for a massively long period of 5 weeks he hasn't confided.all his personal stuff to you??? Dump the bastard Grin

AnyFucker · 09/03/2013 13:59

You would keep him, would you, MTS ?

gilly86 · 09/03/2013 14:26

MTS has made a good point!

IT HAS ONLY BEEN 5 WEEKS!

Saying that, it sounds like 5 weeks of lies, worry, anxiety and stress. The first 5 weeks should be full of happiness and excitement and fun.

badinage · 09/03/2013 14:32

Oh come on, if a bloke's managed to remember he's got 2 children but 'forgot' to mention 2 others, the timescale's irrelevant. Fair enough if he doesn't want to reveal he's got piles, a bed-wetting habit or any other 'personal stuff' within the first 5 weeks. But admitting to 2 kids but not 4? Use your loaf about why that might be......

SueFawley · 09/03/2013 14:33

Izzy it may be bad form usually, but thanks for the link. I needed a laugh and that thread is giving me one. Should be in MN Classics.

gilly86 · 09/03/2013 14:39

Don't get me wrong badinage, I think this guys a wrongun!
I wouldn't stand for it... But from what I've read in the other thread I get the impression they don't even spend much time together... All he's given her so far is a hug at church and a kiss on the head!

Not actually sure if they are spending quality time together or even having personal conversations!?

Either way.. It's still wrong.

Reality · 09/03/2013 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lavenderhoney · 09/03/2013 15:15

Do you have a lovely house and good job? Is he hoping to move in with you, and get you pregnant so he can live there? And how long before he tires of normal family life ( again) and searches for another women to fulfil her dreams, always supposing she has said nice house and income?

A friend of mine had almost the exact thing happen to her. Luckily she saw the light ( ie met the previous women and mothers) and got rid of him. He is now in a relationship and an expectant father.

MTSgroupie · 09/03/2013 15:22

Any - I haven't read the other thread that people have referred to so I obviously don't have all the facts.

I am merely making the point that at Week 5 most of us are still trying not to frighten off the other person.

LineRunner · 09/03/2013 15:33

So, OP, you've got a few quid.

And he's got a lot of children.

AnyFucker · 09/03/2013 17:31

It's kinda likely to frighten off someone if you mention just 50% of your progeny and ignore the rest

or it should do

I hadn't read the other thread either, but now I have I conclude that OP is an utter fruitloop and any further discourse on this thread is a complete waste of time Smile

LineRunner · 09/03/2013 17:37

The OP's suitor shouldn't have forsaken the younger two fruits of his loins, totes.