How do you know?

[Locketjuice]

How do you know if you love someone because you really genuinely love them or because you have a child together and its become a habit?

Real genuine love does not feel the same as a 'habit'.

There is a fabulous piece of prose often read at weddings which begins "when you love someone, you do not love them in the same way all of the time".

In a long relationship, sometimes it does feel its become more habitual than anything. You can be so tired with life, that it's too much to have anything else. But you need to stop and take time then to build it up again. Spend time together, have fun together, remember what you fell for and that you aren't just co parents.

I know that sounds terribly trite but it's true - life is a long time and you won't feel exactly the same all the way through.

There must be a point thought where there is no way back, I couldn't advise on where that is because I haven't been there. I know the hardest times are probably when the children are small and need to have so much input from you as parents and there isn't much time or energy left for anything else though.

I was sat in the bath last night and it dawned on me, I don't know if I love him? Like really love him, I love him as my child/soon to be childrens father but I don't know if it stems any more than that?

Thank you for your replies though, struggling to work out how I will ever know.

I think that expecting the first flush of love to stay like that for life is a recipe for disappointment. Love is work too. Xx

Real love doesn't feel the same as 'falling in love'. In fact, real love is not a feeling, it is an action. It is action caused by a tugging at your heart. You just know that the other person means more to you than anyone else in the whole wide world.

Tha't my take on it, anyway. DP has been away for a week and he's due back in an hour and I am so excited I cannot concentrate on anything else. I have missed him terribly, I feel like I have misplaced a part of myself , and cannot wait to be back with him.

We've been together yonks, it's not the 'in love' feeling, it's the content deep love that just feels right.

Sorry you are feeling like this at the moment.