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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Messing with my head

18 replies

tryingtobeabetterperson · 09/03/2013 06:59

How do you deal with someone that constantly gaslights and then questions your mental health when you get confused by them or who takes what you say and twists it to make you out to be some kind of abuser?

My ex refused my offered plan of contact with our son last year on the basis that he didn't have PR and I had refused to grant it as I fear he would only use it to control us further, our relationship ending due to his emotional and verbal abuse and increasing aggression. His words were "I guess this is goodbye then, please take care of *** as he is my world" Then I received some abusive emails which I ignored and then he sent me an email sending his love to our son and saying he was writing and would continue to keep writing and keeping a record of them so he can show our son when he is older that he always tried to stay in touch. When I told him I had offered him contact and he had rejected it and said goodbye he responded and said I was delusional and he feared for my mental health and that I had proven I was mentally unfit to care for our son and he was going to hire a private investigator to come and see our son and make sure he is ok.

Example two. When I said that if he was paying maintenance our son would have more opportunities, be able to do more things and more money would be saved for his future he wrote back and said he was paying maintenance into an account he had set up for our son and he wouldn't pay it directly to me until such time that he sees fit and thinks I am doing what's best for our son. But then he said he was so worried about what I had said about our son going without that he is lead to believe that our son is being starved so he is going to start paying maintenance so can I please take proper care of our son and stop making threats about him going without.

A bit of background is that we split up when I was pregnant due to his abuse and aggression towards my child from a previous relationship and I. He left the country without telling me and when I tried to involve him in the pregnancy figuring we still were going to share a child together he told me he had emptied his savings and was not in a position to contribute financially or be in any way involved as he had gone travelling to clear his head. I emailed him to tell him when he became a father and he showed no interest bar an acknowledgment of my email. He met our son for the first time when he was 7 months at my insistence. He keeps stomping his feet about PR and says it's in our son's best interests for him to have PR and if I am not going to grant it then he will go to court. He claims to have already volunteered and passed a psychological test to stop any mention of it in court. Why he told me that or would even do it is beyond me, I will be bringing up his mental health as his erratic behaviour is concerning as is the fact that he can't bear our son crying, it makes him cry too, but I haven't said that to him so why would he volunteer a test at this stage?

I don't know how to deal with him, if I don't please him he threatens me or twists what I say or makes wild accusations and he will just use it against me if he does go to court. I don't know how to keep my boundaries while not angering him

OP posts:
Walkacrossthesand · 09/03/2013 07:44

I'm sure someone wiser & more knowledgeable will be along soon - but it sounds like you had good reason to decide against naming him on DS' birth certificate at the time of registration of birth (and hence not giving him PR), and I would observe that his behaviour gives you ongoing grounds not to reconsider your decision. I suspect that, given PR, he would simply ramp up the abuse & attempts to control, but would be able to do this via the courts . Sounds like you are just about managing financially, and getting maintenance from him just isn't worth the hassle. Has he had any meaningful contact with DS at all? If he really wanted it, he wouldn't be playing the kind of games you describe.

Walkacrossthesand · 09/03/2013 07:46

PS hope you're keeping written log of all the incidents/allegations etc to use in the unlikely event he does take you to court to get PR - not sure how often men do this!

Sailormercury · 09/03/2013 07:52

Have you been saving his emails? I would make sure you keep a record of all communication from him and also your responses back to him.
I would make an appointment with a soliciter for some advice, knowing where you stand legaly will make you feel much better. I think he's not being truthful about the psychological evaluation thing.
Lundy Bancrofts book "why does he do that" is worth a read as well.

tryingtobeabetterperson · 09/03/2013 08:06

I have kept all his emails where he has threatened and intimidated me and made accusations. His abuse and aggression that lead to our breakup is logged with professionals.

I am absolutely sure he will go to court and I have read that only 2% of applications for PR are turned down, so I am sure he will be granted PR and then my real problems with his controlling nature will just be beginning. I am concerned he will use it as a stepping stone to applying for custody. He always refers to our son as HIS son, I am just an annoyance who gets in the way.

He hasn't really had any meaningful contact and when he was having it he was doing things that were really worrying me and was also using it as a way of continuing his abuse of me.

OP posts:
tryingtobeabetterperson · 09/03/2013 08:14

cross posted Sailor.

I have kept all our emails, his and mine. I have always done my best to act in my son's best interests, including ignoring horrendous verbal abuse and arranging contact so my son can know his father, but the way he twists things just makes my head spin.

I worry that when it goes to court it will all count for nothing anyway as the only proof I have of the physical abuse side of things is a verbal report logged with a professional, there's no police reports or anything, because I threw him out before he had a chance to lay a finger on us, he threatened and then was gone. The emails show he is a manipulative and controlling compulsive liar but is it enough?

His emotions are all over the place, he cries when my son cries fgs, he can not control his temper or stand for any disobedience, it's do as he says when he says it or he threatens force or a smack, as my son gets older and more defiant, he's not a cuddly little baby anymore, I am scared my ex will react and treat him with anger and aggression like he did with my other child and I won't be there to protect him like I was at the time with my other child.

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tryingtobeabetterperson · 09/03/2013 08:17

I have read on here and in groups on FB countless experiences in court when emotional abuse has not been taken into account, often physical abuse is also ignored, it's only when a child ends up in therapy does a court realise unsupervised contact is not in the best interests of a child. I know he will probably be given supervised contact, but that will inevitably lead to unsupervised.

The only time I have heard about courts giving any weight to emotional abuse is in Spero's posts, but they are in stark contrast to anything else I have heard and read.

I rue the day I pushed him to have contact but I felt so heartbroken for DS that he didn't have a father and I wanted to be able to tell him when he is older that I had tried my best

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PeppaFuckingPig · 09/03/2013 08:26

Disengage with him completely.
He sounds similar to my ex - a complete waste of organs.
Like you, i tried to maintain contact, be amicable etc because i wanted to be able to tell my DD when she's older that i had tried my best, but there are some 'parents' who really don't deserve to be involved in a child's life.
I have now had to tell my ex that if he wants access he will have to go through the courts - as he has seen his DD 3 times in 18 months, it seems unlikely that he will bother, but i've had to completely cut contact with him as i'm unwilling to put up with his emotional abuse, gaslighting and being a major twat.

Also, get onto the CSA. Do not allow your ex to emotionally manipulate you over maintenance. Do not come to an agreement with him privately. He needs to pay for his child. Do it through the CSA.

Good luck.

tryingtobeabetterperson · 09/03/2013 08:43

Thanks for the good luck wishes Peppa, I feel I need them, especially if it goes to court and what I read about the court is true. I have read the courts will destroy you and that is certainly what he would love to happen to me.

I have taken to ignoring him now unless his email contains no abuse and has something to do with our son. The next time he abuses me I will tell him I am cutting contact and if that means he can't have any contact or updates on his son so be it, it's his responsibility as it's a direct result of his treatment towards me and I will see him in court. I don't want it to end up in court but it will anyway as that is what he keeps driving at.

OP posts:
Sailormercury · 09/03/2013 10:19

You're doing the right thing by not responding to him.

something2say · 09/03/2013 10:23

Don't respond at all.
Keep threatening messages.
Report harassment bu tony if y ou are shown not to have responded.

tryingtobeabetterperson · 09/03/2013 13:03

I have responded but always calmly and reasonably.

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Isetan · 10/03/2013 10:07

He is talking out of his arse.

Disengage, disengage, disengage. Set a condition on your inbox so all his e-mails are diverted into a folder named "Arsewipe".

Only the courts can grant him PR and he probably hasn't contacted them because he thinks you would demand maintenance. If he actually did pay maintenance regularly he would make your life hell. If you can manage without the maintenance then do.

As someone who has an absent abusive arsewipe of her very own, I have come to the conclusion that his continued absence is the best thing he has done for my daughter.

Isetan · 10/03/2013 10:11

By responding to his nonsense you put yourself in a position where he wants you, on the defensive.

tryingtobeabetterperson · 10/03/2013 11:45

I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I reply it gives him what he wants. If I don't reply he accuses me of blocking contact and using my son as a weapon.

I reply only because then if he does take me to court he can't say he tried to communicate and I was hostile and ignored him

I really don't know what to do for the best

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tryingtobeabetterperson · 10/03/2013 12:44

He's just contacted me again asking for a photo. This is the third time and he has signed off with kiss!

After the abuse and accusations he has thrown at me I am only concerned about our son not him and what is in our son's best interests, I don't see how giving my ex a photo benefits our son, my ex lost the right to niceties when he chose to abuse me.

He refused contact and then claimed I had proven I was mentally unfit to care for our son so was going to hire a private investigator to check on him to see if he is ok, even though it's probably just hot air, it is another reason why I don't see why he should have a recent photo.

Whatever I do he uses against me but I don't want to give him extra ammo, not do I want to be a doormat and for him to think it's ok to hurl abuse at me and then I will roll over and give him what he wants if he signs off with a kiss!

OP posts:
tryingtobeabetterperson · 10/03/2013 12:44

He's just contacted me again asking for a photo. This is the third time and he has signed off with kiss!

After the abuse and accusations he has thrown at me I am only concerned about our son not him and what is in our son's best interests, I don't see how giving my ex a photo benefits our son, my ex lost the right to niceties when he chose to abuse me.

He refused contact and then claimed I had proven I was mentally unfit to care for our son so was going to hire a private investigator to check on him to see if he is ok, even though it's probably just hot air, it is another reason why I don't see why he should have a recent photo.

Whatever I do he uses against me but I don't want to give him extra ammo, not do I want to be a doormat and for him to think it's ok to hurl abuse at me and then I will roll over and give him what he wants if he signs off with a kiss!

OP posts:
tryingtobeabetterperson · 11/03/2013 12:04

Bump

OP posts:
FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 11/03/2013 14:34

De lurking. I assume that this is a photo of you he wants.

I would not send one. A picture is very personal and can end up anywhere, especially digital photos.

As the others said, disengage. This has nothing to do with the welfare of your son.

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