PND, DH and in-laws!

[GammerBeavis]

I've just been diagnosed with PND after the most bittersweet 10 months of my lif. I have a beautiful, happy DD but am empty inside. Completely hollow; anyway that's for another thread.

PND is directly linked to MIL, gp says this is so. When it started to kick off DH was unable to stand up for me. It caused arguments and he was acting like he was having an affair, with his mother! FWIW my gp was horrified by MIL when I broke down and told her what had happened. Instead of being there for me, supporting me and DD he was running around trying to please his mother. I don't love him anymore. Now the gp has diagnosed me he's suddenly being supportive but it's far too late. Also he wasn't when I was begging him and he was emotionally manipulating me.

I don't want to hurt him, he's a good man. Just unable to see the truth about his NPD mother until 8 months of hell had passed and I'm ill as a result. But I'm scared of leaving him. Gp has said that I can't work so he's going to be providing for the time being. If I was by myself I don't know how I'd manage. I'm not sure if it's just the PND talking and if I'd feel differently once out of it.

Has anyone been through something similar and what did you do?

No ads because of bfing. DH thinks that I need cuddles and kisses and I don't, not from him!

PND is horrible I really feel for you. But your DH is a twat. He should put the mother of his newborn child before everyone including his own mother.

AS a 'DH' myself my DW and DD are first everytime over absolutely everything else. Work, inlaws, housework, pets, other family, drinking, sports, leisure all take a back seat when DC and DW are concerned. Anyone who puts their mother before their suffering DW is not worthy of the title 'father'.

You dont think you could manage on your own?
You wont be on your own you have a beautiful child to care for and you have been doing that without him so far so I think you wiould thrive without the added burden of this arsehole dragging you down.

I broadly agree with not making any massive irrevocable decisions yet, but that doesn't preclude carving out some space for yourself to regroup, e.g. an extended visit to parents/a sibling/friend. You may well do much better on your own for a short while. Is that a possibility?

I agree you shouldn't rule out ADs, even if you would have to stop breast-feeding. A healthy mother for your baby is more important than the feeding method (or much else). Please DO NOT let your needs be put bottom of everyone's list. And sack MIL off for the foreseeable future.

Hi,
I'm really sorry about your PND. I just wanted to say that I have depression and PTSD and have 5 childen, (not related !) I have been on Ads during 3 pregnencys and have bf all of mine until around 18 months. None have had any ill effects. Mine are called Sertraline and I take 150 mg per day.
I agree with the others not to make any major decisions, just try and concentrate on getting you better. I do think that as pp suggested maybe an extended stay with your parents/ friends etc might be good.

DM is taking DD and I on holiday in a few weeks, so that will help to clear my head!
I'm just not sure if I want to bother to try, if I was worth so little to him! The problem is that he was trying to please MIL, his family walk all over him so he's used to running at the click of a finger! That's why it took so long for him to see what she'd done.