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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I feel like the worse person ever!!

6 replies

MomaP · 07/03/2013 14:32

I fancy my DBIL.

I am so in love with my DH, no doubt about that. We have 1 DC, our amazing 5 year old son

DH is in the army, we don't see much of him, esp the past year. I live 260 miles away from family. While DH has been away, ive visited family A LOT. When myself and DS visit, we stay at MIL house, my SIL and her husband (my BIL) live there also, with their beautiful 11 month old. So when we visit, we live with MIL, SIL, BIL & DN.

BIL and I get on really well, we have the exact same interests, we're the same age and DH and I have been friends with him long before he got with my SIL. I adore my SIL. I have noticed within the last year, maybe even slightly longer that I have developed a little crush on BIL. I feel awful. We get on so well, we talk a lot, we're silly with each other (not in a physical way) -- I would never ever EVER act on these feelings, not even hint or even slightly acknowledge it while at their home, but I can feel it and I feel so guilty. Its something I would always keep to myself, and myself only - however I just feel like the worse person, ever.

I guess my only reason for writing it on here is to get it off of my chest finally and knowing there isn't any consequences for doing so.
Also, if anyone has any advice on how you I could maybe snap out of this, I'd. appreciate it. Please don't rip me to shreads, I can guarantee I punish myself over this enough.

Thanks ladies.

OP posts:

Callisto · 07/03/2013 14:34

Has SIL guessed yet? Is BIL flirting with you? Can you stay away from them for a while to cool things down?

Bluemonkeyspots · 07/03/2013 14:35

It's just a crush, don't worry about it. Like you said you will never act on it.

Is part of it maybe that he reminds you so much of your dh? I'm also a army wife so get you with the never seeing him bit.

Original poster

MomaP · 07/03/2013 14:40

callisto Of course she hasn't, she never will. Also, we haven't been to visit them for a few months now, so I have stayed away, however, DH, DS and I are going to stay with MIL for 3 weeks, next week. I feel slightly excited to see BIL.

I hate this.

OP posts:

Catsdontcare · 07/03/2013 14:47

You can't help it if you find someone attractive, you have no intention of acting on it so don't beat yourself up.

Original poster

MomaP · 07/03/2013 18:42

OP posts:

Callisto · 07/03/2013 20:32

If you really can keep it to yourself and not allow it to escalate then I don't see a problem. But never underestimate the intuition of your SIL (or any woman in this situation).

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