Why can't she just fuck off?

[dramajustfollowsme]

Tomorrow would have been my dad's birthday had he not died nearly 10 years ago. I had, to say the least, a somewhat strained relationship with him but we were on quite good terms when he died. I still didn't have answers to a lot of questions as to why he treated me that way and now accept I'll never fully understand what was going on. It took me a while to also realise that no matter how much I hated him at times. I still loved/love him dearly and miss him.
He had a girlfriend at the time of his death and though it sounds cliched she was truly a wicked stepmother. She got him to change his will about 6 weeks before he died. Leaving almost everything to her. We could have contested but still would have only got, if i remember correctly, half of moveable estate which would have been about the same amount but included more legal fees. My mum (on my dsis's behalf) and I decided not to do that.
The girlfriend did not allow us any say in the funeral. Our existence was not even mentioned in his eulogy and to this day we don't know who the pallbearers were. It was utterly horrific. We only found his cause and exact time of death by requesting a death certificate ourselves.
She wouldn't even let my DSis and I into our home to get our own belongings and we have not one keepsake of his. She has not been in contact once since.
Tonight, she has just turned up at my dsis's door and told her that DSis and I have an unhealthy relationship. I probably abused her but that she has blocked it out. She spouted other lies like I was the reason DSis didn't get what was rightfully hers.
This has rightly upset both of us. DSis may only have been 13 at the time but knows this is all crap.
We lost mum only 18 months ago too. I feel so upset and quite vulnerable as we don't know how she knew where to find her - although we have been hiding.
This woman has done enough damage to our lives. Why did she turn up and spout such evil nonsense? Why can't she just go to the other side of fuck?
DSis is on her way over here now. As we are unnaturally close and want to stay in the same house tonight.
Why the fuck are some people so fucking evil?

Firstly I'm sorry for both your losses.
I think the best thing to do is completely ignore your dad's girlfriend. If she turns up on your sisters doorstep again just tell her close the door in her face and you do likewise if she shows up at yours.

At least you and your sister have each other.

Go to the police. This is harassment amongst other things. She has no business contacting you and you owe her nothing. Stand up for yourselves and get rid of this evil cow.

What a Terrible Cunt(TM) she is.

I am so sorry for your and your DSis's pain Drama and I have no advice other than you both practice saying "Fuck Off" in a loud and aggressive manner. Do it often. Do it in front of the mirror. And when this woman contacts you, do it to her face.

We have decided that if she contacts us again we are going to the police. Just an awful shock her turning up out of the blue and spouting such vitriol.
Why now?
What could she gain from such behaviour? Was there nothing decent on the tv so she had to do this to entertain herself.
I'm now getting angry. Fucking bitch.

I would contact the police. She has made allegations of serious sexual assault against you and she needs to face the music. Lucky for you that you and your sister are close. I'm so sorry you lost your mum and dad.

It all sounds really strange. Presumably her arrival out of the blue has something to do with the 10th anniversary of your dad's death?

How old is she and how long were they together? how old were they both when your father died?

I'm so sorry for your losses. You may totally and absolutely be right, but sometimes things get twisted and in grief, the wrong people get blamed? eg when my ex disappeared, his family blamed me completely and cut contact.

I would think that actually, you could try approaching this woman and finding out a bit more about why she has felt the need to contact you?

This might set your mind at rest over things that must still upset you too.

...what I mean is, she may have been fed a load of claptrap by your dad? You say you had a difficult relationship with him 'to say the least' - in what way?

Ignore me if you genuinely know her to be trouble with a capital T. But if you don't know her that well, then, well, I would want to know more about her side and what she wants.

I didn't know your ex had disappeared, UA. Did he come back?

No, I wouldn't contact her, I would contact the police this time - even if nothing comes of it it will be logged for the future so that if she does anything again it will be taken into account. Please don't put up with this, this woman sounds unhinged.

She was with my dad for 8 months - had been his carer for 3 more before that. She must be in her 60s by now. Actually no idea but that would be my guess.
My sis was 13 & I was 24 when he died.
I have no intention of seeking her out. She is vile and vindictive. I doubt any good would come of contact with her. My DSis is here now. We are having some hot chocolate that DH made and then will all go off to bed and try and forget about her.
I'm in 2 minds about going to dad's grave with flowers tomorrow now. I don't want to bump into her when I am alone with DD. might wait until either DH or DSis can come with me.

How did she become his carer. I smell a rat.

This woman sounds like she has serious mental health issues but you shouldn't have to put up with such outrageous threatening behaviour and slanderous accusations. If she contacts you again threaten her with the police, if that isn't enough of a deterrent then she clearly needs help.

Interesting she was your Dad's carer - has she a history of getting people to change their wills in her favour? That might be worthwhile investigating.

No he didn't Imperial.

Glad your sister is with you OP. Sorry you still miss your dad.

Please follow your instincts and do not contact her. When someone is like this contact just fuels the fire. You will not be able to reason with her or give her your point of view or help her to be a nicer person. She has issues but they aren't your problem and I think you really do need to protect yourself and log this with the police as it all seems rather obsessional. I'm really sorry that you and your sister have had to go through all this and that you've also lost your mum as well as your dad. It's lovely that you have each other though and appalling that this horrible woman has tried to poison your relationship. Go to the police, please.