Hi there, did anyone out there jump straight back in the saddle? My story so far - married for 24years since childhood. 2 DD's, no contact with my family but very close to ex DH's mum. His first affair 10 years ago messed me up, went on for 7 years, finally stopped at birth of youngest DD (9). Next affair July 2010 came out of blue went on for a year and finally I asked him to leave. 24 years of marriage over - I was devastated. Managed 7 mnths on my own not knowing if we would get back together and trying to come to terms with many years of emotional abuse. I was a mess, but plucked up the courage to ask the only other guy I have ever fancied out. He was a divorcee of 8 years with a string of short term girlfriends under his belt. He was in a difficult place and I supported him, helped him get on his own two feet and we were magic! Sex was amazing and we stayed with each other every other weekend when my youngest was with the ex DH. we have done holidays, furnished his flat, entertained his friends and grown up kids and parents and generally got on well. He dotes on me when I am with him, all the time that he is the centre of my world. He seemed to get on with my youngest DD, but did not like the way my eldest DD (20) still needed her mum. recently he has started drinking more in the evenings and finds sex difficult although would never talk about it. He is 6 years older than me and has a good business and is very popular with loads of friends and hobbies. So whats the problem ? I am half way through divorce proceedings, and trying to sort a very messy Financial agreement. My youngest DD is finding things very hard adapting to the new family set-up and is having a rough time at school. I love both my kids very much and invest a great deal of time in them. When I go to stay with him every other weekend I often have my dog with me, and invariable get a call form the kids wanting reassurance or needing some other input from me. I am very aware not to let me time with him be dominated by this and shower him with loads of attention.
So, My boyfriend has just told me that his mother wants us all to go for lunch at a pub on Mothers day. I have told him that my girls have plans for me and that I want to see their Nan (ex DH's mum) and he has gone nuts. He has basically called time on our 1 year relationship, saying I am not ready to be in a relationship as I still have so many other commitments like my daughters, the dog, the rabbit and my ex Mother in law. But I will always have my daughters, pets and the kids nan? They are not going to go away. I am not ready to live with him and would not even think of it yet because of the effect it would have on my youngest. I am happy to be in this new relationship, its great and I have even said I can imagine getting a place with him in a few years time. But his last 2 girlfriends he moved straight in with, they both had toddlers that called him dad, not savvy young girls who doted on their own dad. Am I ready for a relationship, I am so scared to be in that lonely place again, but feel that I can't keep denying the existence and importance of my children, not for any man. Has anyone else got straight back in the saddle then wondered if they did the right thing?