Sorry this is long and quite ranty. I swear could write a book on this woman.
So I found out off my younger brother that my mother has been bitching about me behind my back all while being nice to my face. Now I always knew she was a two-faced cow as she does this with everyone. She's the sort of person who hasn't a nice thing to say about anyone. So all this doesn't really surprise me but it's just pissing me off all the same.
I'm pissed off at the fact I have to put up with her and play happy families while she slags me off to family and neighbours or anyone who will listen.
She says I'm lazy and clumsy. Tbh I'm 36 weeks pregnant with my second and pretty fucking knackered at the moment. I suffer with sleeping problems but I'm certainly not lazy. Bit rich coming from a woman who actually does nothing but sit in front of the tv all day every day watching Jeremy Kyle and Home & Away (she even has her own massive ass groove in the sofa). She wont work and complains she can't get benefits (my dad works).
My house is either too clean or filthy. Her house is covered in cat piss!
Anything I buy is a "waste of money".
Apparently I can't be trusted with anything. Say if I'm borrowing a DVD off someone she'll tell them not to trust me because I'll destroy it. 
I'm also a bad mother to my 2 year old and can't look after him properly and I wont be able to manage a second child.
My OH will be going back to work probably a day or two after I come home with baby. This witch thinks this means she can come round to my house every day when he's not here and take over.
She hates my OH. He's never given her a reason to. She's also been slagging him off calling him all sorts of horrible things. Saying how him going back to work is neglecting his family and new baby.
The latest is she's been taking money off my brother claiming she was giving it to me for some sort of baby-related emergency (and telling him to say nothing to me about it for fear of embarassing me). All a load of bullshit. She's been keeping the money for herself.
She's been trying to keep myself and my brother separate. We're quite close to each other. Him and my OH get on great together and she seems to hate that. She doesn't know we communicate online a lot. She's been saying things to him to try turn him against me, tells him not to hang around me, not to tell me anything etc etc. I honestly don't know why she is like this. We're not fucking criminals.
Myself, OH and my brother were out together yesterday. Mumsie flew into a panic about this when she found out. As soon as my brother got in the door she was giving him the 3rd degree. Why was he with us? Where did he go? What did we do? What were we talking about? Then off with the slagging again.
Then the next minute she's smugly talking about mothers day and "what will they get me?". A big fat NOTHING is what.
To my face she's all nicey-nice and going on about the new baby and how excited she is. I would love to just cut her out for good but I can't because then there's my brother and my dad (who is under the thumb) and I'm still close to them. Cutting her off would probably mean not seeing them anymore either.
It doesn't help we live quite close to each other so avoiding her would be very hard. I actually have to pass her house most of the time.
My brain is just fried from all this. Seriously how do you deal with someone like this? Part of me was hoping she might've changed a bit, at least towards me but obviously not!