Haven't nc'ed though a bit worried people I know might identify me here. But here goes. Long story short, been together 12 years, married coming up to 10 years, two DCs 5 and 3. DH decided to drop bombshell that he felt our marriage was over, he feels nothing for me on our DC1's 5th birthday. Cheers! 
This was 10 days ago. BTW, there's also an EA on his side with someone at work though it was 'innocent' enough, he ended it on the Monday after he told me as we decided for the sake of the kids and everything else, we needed to work on our marriage and give it another shot. It was obviously the EA that made him realise he does not want to stay trapped in a loveless marriage forever.
In his defence, I feel the same about him. I've done a lot of soul searching in the past 10 days and realised the feelings I have for him have diminished in the last few years. We have had a particularly stressful two years as well and in my darkest days, I have read for example, stories of women who lost their husband suddenly and their world falls apart, and I think, if it happened to DH, would I feel similar and sadly, the answer is probably no. However, I guess I had a blind faith in our marriage and honestly thought things would sort themselves out a bit more as the DCs get older (I can just about see the light at the end of the tunnel for this!). We both are to be blamed in this sense, we have both neglected each other and our relationship with each other in the last few years as the kids take centrestage.
I am devastated by how 'final' DH feels about our relationship, in that there is no way out of this hole we seem to have dug ourselves into. We have originally agreed that we will give it six months to work on our relationship but I feel he has shut down on me already. But he said he CANNOT force the way he feels right now, which is rock bottom. I feel pretty damn s* too, to be honest. At the moment, it all looks rather bleak.
We had our second counselling session last night. I think the therapist did try to get the point across that this is the crap bit cos we are thinking and analysing everything. And that we haven't given ourselves any time to 'feel'. And also that while we may feel rather bleak right now, there is no crystal ball to say how we will feel in a couple of months' time so I think she is trying to say we need to cut each other some slack and see how things progress and the fact that we are still there with her trying to work things out is a positive move. We have made plans to do things with each other (and with the family) over Easter and also in the upcoming months to see if we can re-build the relationship. But last night, we both have confessed how hard it is to see through the rubbish time we are having now.
Luckily we have the support of both families (whom we have told) who have told us they will support us wholeheartedly regardless of the outcome but of course, they hope we will work it out. Financially, DH has promised he will do everything he can to keep us in our house for as long as he takes for the dust to settle should we separate. I work too and 100% of the childcare falls upon me during the week so for the kids, we will try and keep life as normal for them as possible (but of course, I know the world as they know it will change completely should DH and I separate). I feel very lucky of course that things are so amicable at the moment. And part of me feels so bloody sad that things have gotten to this stage.
In some ways, it is so tempting to let DH move on now as it's what he wants but I CANNOT look at my DCs in their eyes and honestly said we tried our best if we choose to end things 10 days after the 'reveal'. I want to be able to tell them that we tried our best if they ever question me on why DH and I separated, which I feel at the moment, the answer is more like "we bail out at the first hardship!" Is that a stupid thing to hold on to? Cos at the moment, it all feels pretty shit and in some ways, separation is the 'easier' answer (though I know the implication of that on the children's lives and on our lives will carry on for the rest of our lives!), which is why at the moment, I am clinging on desperately too. I love my DCs too much to hurt them that way if I can prevent it. Does it all make sense? Thanks for any comments you can make to help me see things more clearly.