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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

what to do?

40 replies

RubixCube · 05/03/2013 02:00

Dp invited some bloke i don't even know to sleep.My house is tiny.His roaming about upstairs.His making wierd noises.one minute i can hear him move about then his snoring.My dd is very shy,so if she wakes to go toilet and see a man she doesn't know in there she will be terrified so now i have to keep awake.No doubt theres puke all over the bathroom as i can hear the bath being banged against every now and then

OP posts:
Morloth · 05/03/2013 09:05

Tell him that is it. It will never happen again.

If it does, you will be packing the kids up right there and then and leaving.

Or get used to it, because he isn't unhappy with the current situation, you are.

I know what I would do if DH lost his mind and did this.

MaggieMaggieMaggieMcGill · 05/03/2013 09:06

'just remember, no is a complete sentence' that mn mantra has helped me many times.

RubixCube · 05/03/2013 09:08

That's the thing he knows he will always get away with it as i have nowhere else to go Sad

OP posts:
RubixCube · 05/03/2013 09:10

So i'm just going to practice.No,Sorry this mine and my kids home not a doss house

OP posts:
RubixCube · 05/03/2013 09:18

Thanks for listening.Need to go now.Feel sick,probaly stress.Be back later

OP posts:
Littleturkish · 05/03/2013 09:29

Is this a house in both of your names?

I would be asking him to leave.

Your partner does not respect you.

Morloth · 05/03/2013 09:39

It might be really really hard to leave.

It might seem almost impossible.

But decide where your line in the sand is, because it sounds like he doesn't really care how you feel.

RubixCube · 05/03/2013 11:02

well i've spoke to him sternly about the risks.He was shocked when i told him his mates was upstairs and told me he doesnt know why he would be upstairs as he showed him where the toilet was but that he wouldn't anything his known him for years and has kids of his own.I reminded him of the April Jone's case and the fact he had kids of his own too.I said it was a huge risk to have someone in our house with kids in it when parents are asleep.He also said his friend will not be staying tonight or any other night

OP posts:
RubixCube · 05/03/2013 11:02

*do anything

OP posts:
TisILeclerc · 05/03/2013 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hellsbellsmelons · 05/03/2013 11:51

No, Sorry this mine and my kids home not a doss house
Don't be saying sorry either!
Good sentence but leave out the sorry.
You need to use a more assertive tone.
Glad it's sorted out for now but don't put up with it again.
Just say NO!!!

SolidGoldBrass · 05/03/2013 11:56

I think perhaps you are getting needlessy frightened that your P's drunk mates intend actual harm to you or DC. And it would have been very unlikely indeed that (presumably teenage) girls brought home by your P's son in the past would have been a danger to you or the children, as well.

However, the fact that you don't like unexpected guests is something your P should be taking notice of: your feelings are just as important as his are. Is he generally selfish? Does he do his share of domestic work, treat you with respect, is he fair with money?

RubixCube · 05/03/2013 12:33

Hi SGB what worried me with the friend was he was moving about upstairs and he had no reason to be up there as theres a toilet right next to the living room.No dps not fair with money but he has started sharing money when drunk that he has won.He hads never ever done that before he always kept it for himself.I only have the money for my phone contract.No money in my pocket

OP posts:
TisILeclerc · 05/03/2013 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImperialBlether · 05/03/2013 20:10

No kidding. Do you work outside the home, OP? Is your husband respectful towards you?

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