Close friend excluding me from wedding plans

[RainyDaysandMondaysGetMeDown]

I need some advice about whether I should confront my friend. I am part of a group of 6 friends since nursery school. My DS is 1 and since I was pregnant I haven't gone out on the regular nights out as much but try to see them at least once a month.

Lately I have been getting the feeling that one of my friends has got a problem with me - just because of some of the comments she has been making.

Anyway she is getting married in May and I found out through the rest of the group on a night out that she didn't attend that I am not invited to her hen night. I was upset at this but put it down to her thinking I may not make it because of DS.

Today I received the invitation to her wedding only to find out that I am only invited to the evening, when the rest of our friendship group are invited to the day.

I understand that she is allowed to invite whoever she wants, but I would really like to ask her if anything has changed or if I have offended her.

Our group is now trying to organise another more intimate hen night which would be just our group and I have obviously been invited. As it stands I feel really uncomfortable attending this night, and especially chipping in with the cost when I am obviously not wanted by the bride-to-be.

Does anyone have a similar experience of a long time friend suddenly changing?

Oh yes I do think that when her DC comes along, it will be advice all around. She has already told me that I am selfish not to pay for seperate MMR jabs for DS as she, and her family, are convinced that this is what 'gave' her brother autism. I am not made of money and if it is good enough for me then it's good enough for DS.

Butlers in the buff? Ew, tacky. She sounds dreadful and I think you're well rid.

Liz has it bang on too about the baby thing. Even though you have been the first mum in your group, she will act like no one has ever had a baby before and use you and your child to highlight just how perfect a mummy she is and how gifted and perfect her child is.

Much better to get rid now!

Funnily enough I think she may be jealous. I remember telling her funny story a few years ago about something that happened in primary school and a few months ago she actually told the same story but herself in my place and got very upset when I laughed and said it wasn't her but me.

Yup I reckon jealous on three grounds - firstly because you have a ds and she doesn't. Even though she doesn't want one yet, she wants one iyswim. Secondly she's jealous of ds and your attention being shared with him. Thirdly because actually you've done something she hasn't and you know all about it and she doesn't.

What was she like at school? Always wanted to know what you'd got for tests etc? Did she usually come top btw?

x posted with your last - that's very revealing. She's competitive isn't she?

She was pretty much the same in school, along with a holier than thou attitude. I was usually top in tests and she did seem to lord it over me that she got 'Head Girl'....she has 3 family members on the board of governers.

I am starting to think that she may have been 'putting up with me' as part of the group and has never thought of me as a true friend. which is really upsetting as I have always thought that we were good friends.

I think everyone may be right and it is time for me to move on and not let myself get upset about someone who obviously does not care about me. I just don't want this to be a reason to be pushed out of the group altogether.

The more you type, the worse she sounds!!

Did I read that about the wedding dress code right? what if beige just isn't your colour!!

Love the neon pink idea!

I know, I am very pale and so is one of my friends so we would look awful in beige, which is probably why she wants everyone to look awful next to her.

Thanks for all the support I thought I was going mad and blowing things out of proportion.

Oh please dump her, but NOT before you've attended the wedding looking stunning in a scarlet dress. PLEASE.

Her being an idiot doesn't mean you get pushed out of the group just means you arrange to see the other girls without her and if it's a big do organises by one of theohther girls then they'll invite you and you can ignore her.

I was part of group since high school so 30 years since we met and suddenly 2 years ago one girl decided she had a problem with me, sent a text to all the group outlining how awful I was to her (Mainly coz I'd forgotten her boyfriends name and didn't speak to him on a night out...), in my defense I'd only just met him, and it was noisy!

Anyway it's made no difference to any of the others we just arrange to go out without her and if it's a birthday or christening etc I'm always happy to be civil it's great to be the bigger person and be sooo nice she can't be horrible as she'd look a dick

I wouldn't go the 2nd hen night but do turn up in neon pink for the party.

She sounds like a proper, old school, adolescent, playground bully. How tedious for you!

I think I'd probably find that I was too busy for her stupid wedding, and drop her like a hot potato. You, my love, are too good for her. Seriously. What a cow!

She sounds like a proper, old school, adolescent, playground bully. How tedious for you!

I think I'd probably find that I was too busy for her stupid wedding, and drop her like a hot potato. You, my love, are too good for her. Seriously. What a cow!