Making peace with that fact that he'll NEVER 'get it'?

[ThunderInMyHeart]

18 month marriage has been limping along basically since its beginning. We're in the final act now.

How do you cope with the feeling that a) you're so exhausted that you are ready to roll over and stop fighting to save the marriage and b) that you want to keep on returning to the dialogue to say 'er, no. Actually, I think you were, quite reasonably and literally, 99% to blame...and, no, you're wrong about Y, because actually Z happened...'?

God, just wish I had never met him.

Essentially, I guess it's a kind or pride thing? Mixed in with the mourning for what could have been?

I think that's when you're ready to leave. :(

I think it takes a long time, after you have left, to reconcile this. For me, anyhow. Every now and then I think 'if XH were a reasonable person, then x, y or z.' Except that he's not. These times when I think this are getting less, however.

If you are feeling 'a)' you're best advised to address 'b)' by citing the unreasonable behaviour in a petition to divorce.

I sometimes speculate as to whether we live out umpteen different outcomes in umpteen parallel universes. Maybe in one of those you didn't meet your soon to be ex nemesis but, ultimately, all that matters is the level of contentment and/or fulfillment you derive from the 'what is' in the here and now, rather than in the pie in the sky world of 'could have been'.