Anal - would it have come up by now if it was going to?

[MuckyPigeons]

Been together 7 months - been sleeping together for 6 and a half of those Now spending every day and most nights together so you could say we're pretty close.

But how does one broach the subject of anal sex? he hasn't mentioned it, I'm too shy to - would he have brought it up by now if he was into it?

Skinnywhippet Some women hate it, some women don't mind it and some women really do enjoy it a lot. I orgasm from anal sex and enjoy it when we do it.

"And what happens if there is a poo in there."
The rectum should generally be empty unless you need to go soon (which wouldn't really be a good time to do it!) This has never been any issue on any of the occasions I've done it though. Some people use a douche beforehand if they know they're going to if they want to make extra sure.

Of course it's not compulsory, no sex act is or should be. But, shock horror, there are actually women out there who come intensely from anal penetration. And did not get the idea to try it from watching pornography.

It kind of makes me sad that you've been together every night for 6 months and you're too shy to broach something you're thinking a lot about although whether it's because you are keen to, or not keen to, it's hard to tell.

There are also women -and men- who think they have to do it, whether they like it or not. And that idea does come from pornography,

Nothing in sex is compulsory

But there are a huge anf varying amount of 'things' couples can get up to during sex, depending on their tastes and their bodies and what works for them. It's not just to do with porn.

Some women are sensitive around their bumhole which makes stimulation round there very pleasurable.

OP if you want it you just have to broach the subject.

That's sad seeker. I hate porn for making some things seem regulatory, and for so many other reasons that I'm sure the op doesnt' want her thread hijacked over.

Hey seeker, pop along to wikipedia and check it out.

Ancient Peruvians were doing The Greek thing a very long time ago, in fact, according to erotic pottery of the era, it was pretty popular with 31% of images on pots depicting heterosexual anal sex.

Cron or they are as bad at drawing as me

"Cron or they are as bad at drawing as me "
That made me LOL!

Obviously people have always done it, and some people have always liked it. It was also a way for men to have sex without the risk of pregnancy.

It is only since our society became so "pornified" that people started worrying about whether or not they should be doing it, and feeling that they should want to do it.

I'm with Seeker here. There's something about the OP that makes this sound as though she feels that anal sex is something she ought to be considering, but wouldn't be worried about if her partner wasn't into it. If it was something she liked and wanted to do, I can't see why she wouldn't have broached the subject in 6 months.

Anyone who thinks that anal sex was a mainstream feature of people's sex lives before internet pornography is sadly deluded. You don't have to watch porn yourself to acknowledge that we live in a pornified culture.

I can honestly say it's a conversation it has never crossed my mind to need to have with a man.

I think I'm lucky that my DH accepts porn for what it is...fantasy!

OP, if it's something you enjoy then discuss it with him (if not, don't mention it and make your views clear if he ever brings the topic up).

It's a conversation that may or may not come at any time, but if your worried, curious why not have the discussion & get it over with?

For me personally, the conversation came up about 2 years into my 8 year relationship-I said i'd give it a go, didn't like it, haven't done it since!
If you want to go for it, if not then don't. Never be pushed into anything you don't want & always make it clear what you will not accept early on.

Fwiw i think anal is literally shit, i could hardly walk for a day & having a bleeding rectum is hardly fun-i got no sexual pleasure from it at all, it just hurt, told him to stop after a few minutes.

just have a conversation about fantasies and try and guage his reaction if youre too shy to ask him outright if you want to do it.

Am I the only person amused by the thread title?

Meh
I understand why the OP might be a bit shy about bringing it up. This is not because I'm pornified or brainwashed or just want to please a man. I like bumsex. It's great, as a once in a while treat. I'd be ok just doing it once every 6 months but I'd be sad to never have it again.

I can't remember exactly but I think I approached the subject by asking DP to try the other hole while we were slagging. No decent bloke would try to bum you without consent.

Some men will ask outright. Some men will start to touch you more around the anal area and perineum to gauge how interested you may be in anal penetration. Has your partner done this?

And as pumpkin said, the subject may or may not come up at any time.

If anal is something you enjoy and want to bring into your relationship, I think branleuse gave great advice how you may broach it with him if you can't just discuss it.

as for the 'he'll 'just slip it in when you're drunk' comment, leaving aside the consent issues already dealt with by others, in most women's experience of anal sex it NEVER 'just slips in'. It usually takes lots of patience and lots of lube to make it a mutually enjoyable activity especially at first or with a new partner. Except in porn of course.

Shagging, not slagging. Bad autocorrect.

OP appears to have disappeared. Wonder why? Way past bedtime, got to up for school in the morning? Or bit more sinister?

Penelope, it's yet another wank fantasist ain't it ?

A parenting website attracts them by the buckethead bucketload, it seems

All you need to know (+ a bit) is here

[[www.mumsnet.com/.../a1613271-Bum-anal-sex-orgasms-and-feminism
bumsex]]

and here

CenterParcs

Ooops - links don't work (unless Mn just too slow)

Anyway just search for Anal in the search option at the top of the page.