telltale signs

[carolthatcher2003]

Of an affair. I'm probably being stupid, but any clues anyone, anything i should be looking out for.

secrecy over mobile phone - never letting it leave their side, last dialled numbers and texts always deleted, working late?, popping out all the time (possibly to use phone?)

erm cant really think but I really hope your wrong

Why are you asking? Do you already have an inkling about something?

Someone who makes more of an effort with his appearance perhaps? I don't think there are any signs really. If someone wants to have an affair, they'll have it. It depends on the person how well they manage to hide it.

Being super solicitious and nice to you (masking their guilt)

Being unfairly critical - have to make out that it is all your fault, therefore they don't have to feel guilty

Hanging up phone when you walk into the room/into the house

hiding all the credit card/bank statements when they have previously been open about finances

passenger seat in the car seems to be frequently moved from the way you like it

Overly keen to nip out and fetch things from the shops/ filling the car up with petrol etc etc

I could go on and on.

Yes, it has happened to me! All I would say is to go with your instincts - I ignored mine for way too long!!!

putting aftershave on and other grooming products

showering more often than usual

alienating you from mutual friends and even sometimes family members who have suspicions-he may be afraid if you finding out something.

ps watch out the mileage on the car

Works late more often, but not at his desk when you ring during those evening work catch-ups

Starts watching his weight.
Starts a fitness regime.

not wanting sex or any intamacy when he comes back from working late, sponaneous errand or whatever
Could mean his tanks are empty, IYSWIM

OK, well, here's my checklist

1. Not nagging me for sex anymore - although he wasn't getting it when he did nag, I tried, I'm not interested
2. Miserable all the time
3. Spending lots of time out of the house, although I always know where he is, and usually with the kids so that doesn't count
4. Secretive about the mobile!
5. Taking LESS care about his appearance if anything

Apparently there is now something that can tell where a mobile call is being made from. If someone is supposed to be in Manchester, this device can tell if he's not. There is a website for it but don't know what it's called. Imagine if you searched for mobile tracking devices you might find something.

He could just be depressed?

OH I am the expert here!! MIl up to it

signs of mid life crisis weird underwear going away with work alot surreptitious phone calls (deffo check phone)changing long held opinions, peresents they have bought themselves

Oh deffo easy - my culprit says her (2) phones dont work when she is in the stock cupboard!!really she said that)

Phenarggh

Maybe I'm clutching at straws

In my experience:

Definitely the furtive mobile behaviour, deleting all received calls & messages.

Sudden diet/weight loss, renewed interest in appearance, buying new clothes.

Bad tempered & irritable with you and the kids.

No interest in sex, spurns your advances.

Popping out to shops frequently & more than happy to rush off to Londis if you run out of anything.

When you ring on mobile it's often engaged.

Mysteriously having to go away on work trips.

So sad so many people recognise the signs - ditto with everyone, and would add ridiculous dog walks at stupid times - you may not have a dog, more interest in looks/physique/clothes, a strange coldness - implications you're a friend, not a p/w. general shifftiness and not talking to ou about anything remotely important/future plans.

I agree with Tinker - sounds more like he might be depressed. Could the phone calls (if there are any) be to someone he's confiding in about your relationship rather than a secret lover? You both sound quite alienated from one another at the moment.