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Original poster

rant about men

41 replies

sheridanielsmummy · 01/03/2013 23:06

hey

I'm just in a rant mode i'm 20 and my partners 26, i don't know if i'm being selfish or just being a horrible girlfriend, but does any one else think there partners are taking the mick out of them.

We've been together nearly 2 years and have a 7 month old lb together. at first he was amazing, but now it just feels like he taking mick. don't get me wrong he works full time to support us. But as soon as hes home he's straight on the xbox, even while my sons up which i've told him to stop and he doesn't, and tonight he finished at 4 and didnt turn up home till 8 (no call/text nothing) claiming he was doing over time but coming home slurring his words and avoiding me. hes now decided hes taking £40 again to go out tomorrow leaving us skint and the council tax not being paid (again). plus its his birthday Tuesday and i know he will be out again.

he does this pretty much every week, then stays in bed saturday until sometime 3 in afternoon! gets up, plays xbox, eats tea, more xbox, bed. and then same week again.

feels like im just not appreciated anymore and he doesnt want to spend time with either of us.

any ideas how to make him realise. ive tried talking to him but he just gets deffensive and turns it round on me? Sad x

OP posts:
Original poster
sheridanielsmummy · 02/03/2013 19:44

I have pretty much noone around me and cant afford to move, he basically gone out again tonight at 5, came back just now and just because i told him not to come back if hes drunk (last time he fell into the cot) hes stormed out with my bank card in a paddy and gone out with his mates who are all into drugs.

the xbox was a once in a while thing before i had our lb, just seems hes getting more irresponsible every day x

OP posts:
Original poster
sheridanielsmummy · 02/03/2013 19:47

I have pretty much noone around me and cant afford to move, he basically gone out again tonight at 5, came back just now and just because i told him not to come back if hes drunk (last time he fell into the cot) hes stormed out with my bank card in a paddy and gone out with his mates who are all into drugs.

the xbox was a once in a while thing before i had our lb, just seems hes getting more irresponsible every day x

OP posts:
Original poster
sheridanielsmummy · 02/03/2013 19:50

I have pretty much noone around me and cant afford to move, he basically gone out again tonight at 5, came back just now and just because i told him not to come back if hes drunk (last time he fell into the cot) hes stormed out with my bank card in a paddy and gone out with his mates who are all into drugs.

the xbox was a once in a while thing before i had our lb, just seems hes getting more irresponsible every day x

OP posts:
HecateWhoopass · 02/03/2013 19:51

No. Not all men are like this. Not even most of them.

don't convince yourself that this is how men are, because you are more likely to accept the unacceptable.

you have tried to talk to him. He doesn't want to hear you.

Perhaps it's time to say look, this is what I want in a partner. If you can't be that person, we can't be together. I want an equal, adult partner who is a responsible father, not a man child who prioritises getting drunk and whatever else with mates and playing video games over being a grown up.

maybe it's time you told him that he, as he is, is not what you want in life and he has to make a choice.

because carrying on like this is no good, is it?

He's acting like a kid and you are acting like his mum.

Original poster
sheridanielsmummy · 02/03/2013 19:53

i know i am and thats why i am getting so annoyed, he used to be completly opposite, but since having my lb i dont know whats got into him, i tried again tonight and hes stormed off x

OP posts:
HecateWhoopass · 02/03/2013 19:54

So what are you going to do?

cats22 · 02/03/2013 19:57

It's not your fault. You can't fix him. Who have you got in real life to talk to about leaving? You need a plan.

Original poster
sheridanielsmummy · 02/03/2013 20:09

i dont know i have people i cant speak to but i have no money or anything to move out and dont know if i would get any help x

OP posts:
cats22 · 02/03/2013 20:27

There is a website where you can find out about tax credits etc. Google it, you can find out exactly how much you will get as a single mum. Can't imagine you will be worse off than you are now with your partner drinking all the money.

You need to ask around to find out if there is help available in your area. Try the council, sure start or your health visitor. Have you got any friends/family you could stay with temporarily while you find a place to go? Good luck xx

AttilaTheMeerkat · 02/03/2013 20:29

You need to call Womens Aid tonight; they can and will help you here.
Their number is 0808 2000 247.

They can help you get out but you need to take the first (often the most hardest of steps) to leave this abusive manchild you are with. It will do you and your child no good at all to remain with such a man, he will destroy you both ultimately.

fatfingers · 02/03/2013 21:47

Have a look at the entitled to website. That tells you what you can claim. Is your property rented? Is it in joint names? Take the bank card off him tonight so he can't keep spending the family money

Original poster
sheridanielsmummy · 02/03/2013 23:10

rented in my name and hes taken it with him on a night out and withdrawn everything, just checked my online and hes taken all his wages out x

OP posts:
cats22 · 03/03/2013 12:46

Have you got your card back? What are you going to do? You can't continue like this, you need to get away.

cats22 · 03/03/2013 12:50

Rented in your name is good, get some advice.

SolidGoldBrass · 03/03/2013 13:01

If the home is in your name only you can just throw him out. And if he says he's not going, you can call the police to come and remove him by force. You do need to get him out as soon as possible, and either get the bank card off him or contact the bank and get it cancelled and a new one issued to you. He will probably fuck off and not make a pest of himself over contact, but you should get advice from WOmen's Aid - and the CSA so you get some money off him.
Best of luck.

ChestyLeRoux · 03/03/2013 13:51

Cant believe people are making out 26 is young.Most men I know are dads by that age,and loads of them dont act like this.

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