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Original poster

Professional support after a relationship ends

6 replies

glitternanny · 01/03/2013 11:53

I just wondered if there are any recommendations out there.

We were together for 4 years, split in jan - have a 15m old boy and I'm on anti-depressants.

I just wasn't making him happy Hmm

Think he blames me completely tbf.

I'm trying to get some help as its dragged up loads of self-esteem issues.

Would you do counselling/relate/ health visitor support?

Any input welcome. Thank you

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/03/2013 13:03

You could ask your GP to refer you to a counsellor but, since the break-up is very recent, a lot of the 'cure' for what you're feeling is going to be time. It's a major trauma, it does hit hard at your self-esteem and it takes a long, long time to get past that feeling of hurt. No getting away from it or speeding it up IME

Medical professionals aside, I think what helped me most in a similar situation was RL support from friends and family, keeping very busy, having a full diary, as little down-time as possible and making a big effort to get out there and forge a brand new life for myself in which my ex simply didn't feature. I was lucky in that I didn't have any children and therefore could drop contact 100%. Presumably you have to retain some kind of contact for the sake of your DS? Managing that contact... making your life easier and his life less so... regaining a feeling of control and asserting your independence are all going to be part of the recovery.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/03/2013 13:04

BTW... you were never responsible for his happiness. If he blames you then you're well shot.

Ginebra · 01/03/2013 13:08

is he a blamer?

Anyfucker, you posted something the other day and #1 was The Blamer.

I agree, if you were happy (before he ended the relationship) and he blamed you for his own inability to be happy, then you are better off withou him.

It's a drag, but time heals 3/4s of it. To be honest I'd spend a lot of time venting on here, and then when the dust has settled and you have come off the anti-depressants then think about what you could gain from therapy.

Ginebra · 01/03/2013 13:09

ps, just make sure you don't get involved with anybody else til you've recovered from this relationship. that was a mistake i have made in my past.

cestlavielife · 01/03/2013 15:37

yes ask hv if any local support etc out there. eg one gp surgery local t me does a specific separation set of six sessions of counselling.
it can only help.

Original poster
glitternanny · 03/03/2013 20:51

Thank you for your answers

OP posts:
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