My ds2 eight mths has been I'll for three weeks. Two nights ago following antibiotics his face swelled up temp soared. It was very scary and I ended up calling a paramedic at around two. I woke dh up . He sleeps with ds1 nearly four as he says he can't function during day being woken up by ds2. So I do the nights and dh does the majority of housework.
I went to hospital with ds2 and dh stayed with ds1.
Following discharge at around five I realised I had no house key and rang dh. He had left his phone onvibrate purposefully he said not to wake ds1.
I rang this and the house phone for ten mins before he answered. I was so tired having not put ds2 down and had been very worried with images of getting a taxi and then having to bang on the oor and ds2 had no outdoor clothes with him. O I just asked for taxi number I clipped tones.
When igot home following horrible taxi speeding lights off dh gone straight to bed so I struggled in house with sick baby and bags befor going up and asking if he wanted to know how his on was.
He said I was being unduly angry.
He the said he needed to sleep to get ds1 up for nursery. I went backdown and was up another hour before ds2 finally slept.
I woke up thenext morning at ten and dh had slept in again on purpose turning off the alarm. I questioned this as he could have helped me in the night if he had no intention of getting up.
He said we will discuss our living arrangements after ds1 at nursery.
I got upset and queried this and he said I was too angry and he wasn't putting up with it.
I had not raised my voice or cursed or been physical at all just quietly seething and incredulous I imagine.
We had a terrible row later and he packed a bag. He thn said he'd stay to help with sick baby so I coukd sleep and I said stay if you want to be propr husband etc and how can I nap if ur leaving. He left. Ds2 got sicker and he returned one four r so hrs later and has stayed since. We tried is cussing event but all he says is he wants to be with kids not sure about me . I said what if ds had Ben in respiratory arrest and he'd not answered phone and he accused me of emotional lack mail calling m evil.
He is being cold and distant and with holding. In relate they said his with holding is every bit as damaging as my anger.
He doesn't see this. He says I have to othe angry r he will leave.
I have tried to explain to him bout emotional abuse, passive aggressiveness and anger being part or repertoire of human emotions but he doesn't ge it.
I fee very sad and angry but we are just going through parenting and not speaking about it.
I tried to hug him but he remains unresponsive.
Aibu or is he being out of order?